Disenchanted • lh

Prologue

It was my dream to live this life. It was my dream to do what I love most for the rest of my life. I wanted this. I wanted tour the world, meet new people, fans, friends. I wanted to perform at sold out arena shows with my band. I wanted it all.

Though it's funny how quick a dream can show the ugly reality behind the scenes. From a different perspective, you look at these stars and think 'Wow, what a great life they must live. So carefree.', but that is not the case. 

It's a never ending cycle. You wake up, get ready, go to a studio, record a song, perform, meet fans, get criticized constantly, get followed by paparazzi, go home, try not to have a meltdown, try to sleep, end up not sleeping, write a song, finally get an hour of sleep, wake up realizing you have to leave in thirty minutes and it starts all over again.

It's a stressful life. Now, I know there will be people that say 'There are others that have it harder than you'. What's the point in saying that though?

That would be like saying someone can't be happy because someone else has it better than them. It's fucked up. All of it.

It's all one fucked up world we live in, but no one really pays attention to the cold harsh reality. They only look and hear what they want. 

So I stay quiet. I don't complain about how much this life is taking a toll on me. 

Maybe my band mates have noticed it. But I know they're going through the same thing. It's a hard life to live. You wake up thinking that this rockstar life would be perfect. People will adore you, you'll earn a lot of money. That's not the case.

You're expected to live up to such impossible standards. To be a perfect role model for people out there and not make any mistakes. 

I honestly don't know how I came to this point. I guess one day I just woke up from my dream and realized it's turned into something so ugly. It's life something just died inside of me. It's made my lose all hope for things, it's made me want to give up.

But of course like any person, in hopes it'll all get better, I keep going. For my sake, my family's, and my friend's.

I've became disenchanted with this life.