I couldn't tell him. I was just so confused and needed Brandon to get out for a bit again. I need to know the name of the girl. I couldn't tell him because I looked through his diary and he probably won't believe or trust me anymore with any secrets even though I would keep it. He was still waiting for an answer and I just had to lie " I was just getting used to this place" and he nodded with a smile. I'm so glad I got through it but at the same time I felt really guilty for not telling the truth, but look, at the same he still trusts me which I guess is good. Later on we were on the bed with our legs crossed and talking to each other about how fun we both had at the lake. "I loved getting myself wet at the lake today" Brandon said happily
"I did too" I said smiling back at him
"I really loved being there because of you actually" He said shyly
"Wow" I started to blush. I thought that an amazing guy like Brandon would never say that to me. It's really only in a girls dream, well for me it is. Looking back at the book again made me memorise what happened while I was reading it. I realised that he still likes someone else and that it's not me because I'm just his best friend. It made me wonder. If it was on the day he met me and we both went home, he must have bumped in to a prettier girl than me.
"I'm leaving" I said while sobbing in my mind
He just looked at me, confused "Why, you just got here?"
I just turned at him and waved goodbye, no smiles or no good sign saying that I'll miss him. As I had shut the door, I looked through his window he was practically in tears. I didn't care because I just knew he liked someone else and could text her instead of me. I'm jealous and mad also confused. I walked home straight away and slammed the door, locked it and ran to bed. Mum was already sleeping because she was going to a market and organise her own stall tomorrow and I'm meant to be sleeping so that I could come too. Right now I don't want to go though. I was crying onto my pillow and and making loud noises, but not loud enough for my mum to wake up, thank goodness. While I was crying I heard my ringtone go off
"Bella, why would you just leave me like that :(" - Brandon
I just stared at it and thought that he would be lying but deep inside I just knew he was still teary. All I really want to do is check the diary out and see the name of the girl because I thought that we would make a good couple. Anyway I replied
"I'm just confused right now. Leave me alone right now please" - Bella
I know I'm putting pressure on him but it's just hard for me to figure things out.
"Bella, I'm your best friend, you trust me and I trust you, you know that" - Brendon
All I just did was highlight the word in my brain "Best Friend" it kept replaying in my mind because I wanted to be more than that. I threw my phone to the wall and cried in to my wet pillow. I didn't want to reply, I didn't want to say bye, got to go, or miss you at all. I decided to cry myself to sleep.
