Worth it?

Coraline

I often don't proof- read a chapter. So if there are grammar mistakes, blame it on the autocorrection. I will come back to it and correct mistakes later on, but I am lazy right now.
TW FOR VIOL3NCE THIS WHOLE BOOK
As said, it is the part two of a story about r@pe + $H so there will be mentions of that too. DO NOT READ IF UNCOMFORTABLE.

————————————-
There he was, sitting in Monza. Ran had closed his eyes to fully let the warmth of the sun hit his body. With winter approaching he was thankful for every ounce of sunlight that greeted his skin. They had managed to kick this season off with a 3-0 win against Civitanova, though Ran had not been fully satisfied with the way he had played. But a win is a win, and when would he ever truly be satisfied?

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" Yuki had asked him back when the two had reached their gates. "Yes. Yuki, please just give me this chance. I need to keep my mind off things and besides, I am healing. I am doing good. Don't worry, we will see each other soon enough. Take care." That was how their final conversation had ended, both boarding different planes, flying to different cities, to play volleyball for different clubs in Italy.

And it had been fine. Ran had indeed been accepted here quite quickly, some warming up faster to him than others. But that was also completely fine and normal. He was fine.

-

"Again!" That had been the fourth time that their new coach had shouted at him. Ran could feel his stares and glares, and that totally did not improve his performance at all. Even Ibrahim was now looking concerned at him. Because Ran was in fact not playing badly. No, indeed playing better than some others on court. For example, Stephen seemed to be totally off the roll today and had not been yelled at a single time.

But Ran- "You, here! Now!" Seconds later, Ran found himself staring to the ground in shame, arms crossed in front of himself. The coaches eyes still completely focused on him, looking for the never occurring eye contact. "You, look at me when I talk to you!" There it was. That invasive hand on his chin that tilted his head upwards.

It took a shit ton of control not to slip into a full blown panic attack. But his breathing did increase. The man didn't care though, his chinese accent dominant while talking Italian. "Court cleaning after practice. Alone. Today better be a slip up." Ran nodded. He felt his chin drop as the older had let go, sending Ran back to practice. Everyone was staring at him, mostly concerned. All they could do though was continue as if nothing had happened and watch the Chinese man take his leave.

He did try his best to continue doing a good job, but it all felt so exhausting all of a sudden.

-

1am, 2am. Still, Ran had not closed a single eye. That touch seemed to linger on his skin, like imprinted. It bugged his mind, because flashbacks were now flooding his mind, enabling him to close his eyes.

Suddenly, a knock on his door. What? It was mid night, why would anyone- Up and strolling towards the door.

No one there. His tired eyes scanned the hallway for a sign of life. However, there was nothing except a white envelope on the floor. Ran furrowed his brows, checking his surroundings once more before picking the letter up. He had made sure to lock the door prior opening the envelope. Not even a chance to sit down.

A picture had dropped to the ground, landing on the floor, image facing upwards. His heart dropped straight to the floor, his lunch making its way back up his throat again. And all he could see was that picture that had just been engraved in his head.

And Ran felt himself back in that moment, laying on that bed, bleeding and unconscious. He wanted to scream out loud, but his throat suddenly felt so tight.