Pretty sure an hour ago I was exhausted and sleep deprived. Now, not so much. And it's getting on my last nerve.
I look at the digital clock on the nightstand. It's exactly three in the fucking morning. How am I so tired yet my body won't shut down? Frankly I'd sacrifice a goat to get a few hours of sleep right now.
I turn on my side and stare at the clock. Alright, calm down. Figure out what's holding me back from sleeping. I rub my eyes. Am I hungry? No. Need to use the bathroom? I pause for a minute. No. Uncomfortable? Not at all. Probably miss my own bed? A bit... I wonder if Calum misses his.
I mentally slap myself. Who cares? That sofa looked very comfortable, cozy, and warm. A little too small for his height too. Am I feeling guilty? Seriously? How sleep deprived am I? I pull the blanket over my head. Fuck.
"Hey Calum...Cal. Dude?" I hold on to the stair rail as I look over it to check if Calum is still awake. The TV is on but it's only showing a commercial of some new hair product. I find Calum, legs hanging, snuggled in the layers of blankets. See? He's fine. I start to turn back.
"Care to join me?" A raspy voice asks. I close my eyes and exhale. Fuck.
"I-I thought you were sleeping." I say before coming down.
"I am."
"Um... What?" I stand by the arm rest, next to Calum's feet.
"Sleep talking."
I nod my head very slowly. "Right."
"You're not going to sit?" He crosses his arms under his head. My automatic response is to raise an eyebrow of course. There's obviously no space for me to sit. Unless he means on him which shouldn't surprise me.
"I'm kidding. Here." He sits up and pats the space next to him. I sit down, making sure to keep an appropriate distance between us. He stared at me but I force myself to look at the TV and pretend like I don't notice. Still I couldn't get myself to concentrate on what the blonde lady was saying. For a moment like this I wish I remembered to bring my phone with me. Stupid.
"I don't get you..." He finally says. I keep my eyes on the screen.
"What do you mean?" I honestly didn't know. Calum reaches for the remote and turns the TV off. This time I look. The room was dark now, the moonlight as the only source of light which allows me to still see his face.
"You were all over me like two hours ago. Now you're keeping your distance?" He motions at the space between us. All I do is shrug. "What changed? Did I do something wrong?"
"No. It's not you. I just-" I begin, "I don't know. I guess I realized what I did and the whole thing with Ash-"
"You could've told me that you wanted to make that guy jealous."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I would've done a better job if I knew."
I shake my head. "Woah, hold up."
"Back there I genuinely thought that you liked me. Ha!" He says in relief. "It would've been annoying if you caught feelings for me to be honest. No offense."
Annoying?
I could feel my eyes water. Is that what I am to him? I look up at the ceiling and smile. "None taken. It's good that we cleared that up, really." I say. Don't cry.
He put his hand on my shoulder. Don't cry.
"Anyway, I'm certain that guy is going to be pissed off for a while." He propped his elbows on the arm rest behind him . I force a laugh. It's okay.
"You're not worried if Ashton tries fight you?" I ask but my voice broke. I cough in attempt to mask it.
"He can try but it won't end well for him." Calums scoffs. I take that as my chance to leave.
"Right, um, I'm going to sleep now so... See ya later." I mentally slap myself again before jumping up and walking away.
"Oh come on. Did that small comment offend you?"
I didn't answer since I was already up the stairs.
"I see how it is!" I hear Calum say before I shut the door. The next moment, I finally let tears well up.
With warm tears streaking my face, I curled up on the bed and replayed his words in my head over and over and over. Fucking asshole. I cover my mouth, trying to stop myself from sobbing.
I genuinely did like you...
A/N: So this chapter sucks... I wanted a cuddly-romantic scene but no one likes that anyway. I hope everyone is okay with cussing. I think it gives the character more, um, personality? AND I tried writing more but I'm lazy. Short chapters for everyone ! Yaaay
Oh and there's that music that doesn't have anything to do with the story~
