Rude Ruby

01: Excommunicado

Watch your thoughts, they become your words: 01 | Excommunicado

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To hesitate is to invite failure,
to falter is to court death.

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Kailan ba ako nag alinlangan? Kailan ba ako nag dalawang isip? Kailan ba ako huling nalito sa aking mga plano? Sa pagkaka-alala ko ay hindi pa ako nagkakamali sa aking mga desisyon noong inagaw na ng kadiliman ang aking puso at isipan.

Hindi na ako nakakaramdam at hindi na dapat pa tumulo ang aking mga luha ng makita ang sariling walang magawa nang iniwan at pinagtaksilan ng kahuli-hulihang taong pinagkatiwalaan ko.

Bigla ay parang gumuho yung pader na sinasandalan ko. Bigla ay nawala iyong pag asa na pilit kong pinanghahawakan. Ngayon ay nilalamon na naman ako ng mga isiping hindi ko alam kung naiisip ba ng may tamang pag-iisip.

Pero hindi dapat ito ang inaalala ko. I way better than my own thoughts, I am the doer of what I think. I can make them true if I wish to and I can alter them for my survival if I had to.

I can't afford to falter—not when I'm this close to the ones who doesn't matter in this story. Failure isn't an option, not when the end is within reach. The first parasite is gone, wiped from the plot before it could ruin everything.

Now, it's time to dig out the rest of the vermin hiding in the cracks. They won't see me coming, but they'll know when it's too late—when the ground beneath them shifts, and there's nowhere left to run. I fucking swear and promised that to them.

I rapidly search numerous databases, my fingers flying across the keys with practiced ease. Purposeful keystrokes mark my work—until I pause. My usually deft hands are beginning to shake a little. The screen before me confirms what I already suspected.

A bounty. On me.

A sharp breath. Not of fear, nor surprise, but something else—something I refuse to name. Remorse? No. There is no room for that here. Emotions cloud judgment. They dull instincts, weaken resolve. And in my world, hesitation is fatal.

I exhale, steadying myself. Whatever flicker of feeling threatens to surface, I push it down. In the realm of shadows and secrets, sentimentality is a liability, an open wound waiting to be struck.

So, I let it go.

Focus. Clarity. Precision. These are my weapons. And right now, I need them more than ever.

Surviving in this unforgiving land requires a brave heart and commitment. The deed is done, the reward obtained... My only option now is to flee the country. It's a desperate move, but in a world where danger lurks around every corner, escape becomes the only path to ensure survival.

And I'm uncertain how my body executed all the necessary actions, as if my survival instincts guided every move. Astonishingly, I found myself departing the country the following morning, comfortably seated in a first-class suite aboard an aircraft. And I was taking these actions without a conscious thought.

All I knew was that I had to depart and forsake my former life.

I must.

Or else, there's no escaping death.
           

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