Midnight rain 🌧️ | Yang Jungwon

Part 2: Friend

-Jungwon are you aware that you may be doing her more harm than help?- came to me an unfamiliar voice.

-But hyung, I couldn't leave her alone like that!- shouted another voice, which woke me up. I opened my eyes. It was dark. I didn't have the strength to prop myself up with my hands. I slowly raised myself to sit down. I was lying on a soft mattress. I rubbed my eyes. But I was on the bridge after all. I connected the dots. I wanted to kill myself, but what happened next. I was suffering from a headache. Although I could see very little, I knew this was not my room. The boy who was on the bridge entered the room. Along with another brunette I didn't know. They turned on the light. They stood at the door frame to the room.

-Em, strange timing to introduce myself, but I didn't do it so I'm Jungwon. I don't know if you remember anything from that night.-said the boy uncertainly.

-I wanted to kill myself I remember that.- I said honestly, in a weak voice. The boy next to Jungwon gently shook out his eyes, as if he didn't believe I said it out loud.

-Em well yes and I stopped you. Then we talked until you passed out.-the boy said still uncertainly, and I just nodded my head.

-I'm Jake, Jungwon's friend- said the brunette, sticking out his hand. I looked at it for a moment, until I decided to gently return the handshake. Jake looked at my hand, which was bandaged, and I was reminded of how I had made the cuts myself. I took my hand from the boy and got up from the bed. I bowed to them.

-Thank you, for treating my wounds and taking me here, could you lead me to the exit?- I asked.

-For you to go to the next bridge? Never in my life.- said Jungwon, and I stood in front of him, taking steps further and further forward.

-Listen it's nothing to you whether I kill myself or not, just show me the way out.- I said quite annoyed and upset.

-I saved you, so I guess I deserve some thanks shouldn't I? And besides, since I rescued you, it's my job to make sure it doesn't happen again.- said the boy, which for me was a complete nonsense. The guy was talking out of turn simply.

-First of all, I said thank you. Secondly, no one asked you to do it, it was my decision that I wanted to do so. Have you perhaps seen me holding a piece of paper that says "please help"? Well that's right, I didn't have one.-I said, preventing myself from shouting.

-You mean to tell me that I was about to let you kill yourself when I passed by and saw this?- asked Jungwon, while his friend Jake stood and quietly listened to the whole conversation.

-Yes, in the sense of well, maybe not. But in my case yes! -I said.

-Why?- asked the boy sighing.

-Why what? - I answered with a question, to a question.

-Why did you want to kill yourself?- the boy asked. Images appeared in front of my eyes, all those weeping nights. All the worst moments. I stood in the hallway quietly, and the two boys looked at me.

-This is not a story worth your time- I said dryly.

-Worth.- said Jungwon, putting his arms over his chest.

-Let's sit in the living room- Jungwon said, and Jake and I followed him. I sat down opposite the boy, on the sofa.

-I'm going to go make some tea -said Jake and walked toward the kitchen. There was an awkward silence between me and Jungwon, until the boy decided to break it.

-You don't have to tell me anything, but anything you say will stay between us okay? No stress. If you are not ready, you do not have to tell me anything. You know, a normal person who notices a person on the bridge, reacts to it.- the boy said calmly, and I nodded my head and sat quietly for a while.

-So, do you want to tell me about it?- the boy asked. I was having an internal battle with myself. Should I tell him everything? Probably not. But at the same time I wanted to tell anyone all this. It had been resting on me for too long.

-I don't know where to start- I said, and my voice faltered and tears began to fly down my cheeks. Jungwon handed me a box of tissues, and I thanked him briefly and treated myself to one tissue.

-My name is Min y/n. My parents ... They argue often. They are getting divorce soon. They just do some paper work or something.I have a brother. A younger one. His name is Wooyoung he is 6 years old. . Our financial situation is very good, if not great. It all started 3 years ago. That's when I reached for the razor blades and realized something was wrong with me. Not that I was happy before. It was just that everything was accumulating. Then it only got worse and worse. 5 toxic friendships, constant loneliness, feelings of inadequacy and so on and so forth finished me off. Razor blades and an eraser are an inseparable part of my daily life.-I said taking a breath.

-The eraser why?- asked Jungwon.

-Scrubbing the skin burns it. It gives an effect like burning itself.-I said, and he just nodded.

-You mentioned 5 toxic friendships, would you like to talk about them?- the boy asked, and I nodded uncertainly.

-The first two were at the same time. 7 years of friendship in elementary school. The first one. I always played roblox with her. I could fool around with her. Even though she was so childish, with her I could be such a child. She was like a little sister to me. Until I noticed that she didn't allow me to be friends with others, she was terribly jealous of me. Once there was an argument that was not nice. She got angry about the fact that I couldn't talk to her because I was giving another girl notes form lessons. She called me names, quite badly. Starting with character, appearance ending with how my family is poor, and at that time we really didn't have, too much. i was 11 years old so at that time it hurt me a lot. I cried for quite a long time. Then she apologized, said she would change. I believed her gave her a second chance. Then it got even worse. She hurt me even more. We ended the friendship quite badly. After that, the relationship changed, but stayed on a friend/acquaintance. The other while friendship. With her I felt like a child, I tried to grow up. We talked about more mature topics. She was like a big sister to me. Everything was okay, until the election for class president. She took advantage of me to get a point more and won by that point. Then I was terribly upset that she didn't keep her agreement that she would vote for me and I would vote for her. She voted for herself. Then I ended up with another friend. 7th and 8th grade of elementary school. She mostly destroyed me. She was the 'perfect' one. My parents loved her because of it. She often lied about her image to appear that way in front of my parents. She lied about me to my teachers. About how lazy I was or that I didn't do something because I stated that I didn't care about a subject. High expectations from my parents, no friends, constant loneliness and sadness, constant pressure. In 2021 I reached for a razor blade, for the first time, and so it continues. Then there was another, fourth  friendship. We went to choir class together. She was a class below but my age. With her I loved hanging out, laughing. I felt I could tell her anything. We knew each other for 5 years. But we were friends for 2 years. Everything was okay until she started treating me like a backup option. I often suggested to her to go out somewhere, then she would say she couldn't because she was meeting someone. I didn't have a problem with that, but then suddenly she would call me and say that one can't make it, another is sick, a third is away and can I go out somewhere with her. I felt like a backup option. Then, on a trip, she left me for new acquaintances and I had to sit in the bus on the trip for 5 hours with some random girl. Then it got worse and worse as always. At one point she even started manipulating me. One of our last meetings I won't forget. Don't be offended, but I just doesn't want to remember it. Then there was the last friendship if we can name it actually. A new class, I met her. I thought we were friends. It was probably because no one treated me so well. At some point I started to behave a little differently. Because of all the panic attacks, anxiety or depression. I didn't want to tell her so she wouldn't look at me differently. She called me toxic and a bunch of other names. She laughed at me every day. She told lies about me to others. In short that's all" I said, and the boy in front of me sat thoughtfully.