Bittersweets of you.

ONE

A knock at the front door had me rushing down the stairs. I open the door to see a familiar face smiling at me. I forced myself to smile back.

"Good morning Rebecca. Are you ready to go?" Lilly my social worker smiles at me.

"Yes I am. Let's get the hell outta here." My voice sounding more confident then I felt. It's not that I am not excited to move into my own beautiful flat in such large private property because when I think of it that way it sounds like life couldn't get better. But instead it is more the thought and memories if what I am leaving behind. However I also know that everything good comes to an end, besides there are better things waiting for me as I step into this new chapter of my life. Though while I can't help but be sad about leaving I am excited and over thrilled about the thought of what I could possible experience and do with this next chapter of my life.

I walk my way into the car which belonged to Lilly as I waved goodbye to the people I once called my carers. However it felt like I was also waving goodbye to the past, and for all I know maybe I was. I opened the car door and sat inside the passage seat of Lillys car. I take my phone and headphones and start listening to music as I watched the world go by.

As I watch the word passing by I enjoy the music blessing my ears. I was in a reality only visible inside my head, until I noticed the familiarity of my new home, the very place I would start my next chapter. I smile as I leave the car and waved Lilly goodbye a d thanked her for the lift before turning and making my way to the building which contained my flat. I look behind me and see her car is already gone before I smile and walk up the stairs towards my new flat.

"This is it. The moment I have been waiting for," There's a smile in my voice as I turn the door handle and push open my door. I smile as I walk inside, at the painted walls and lights stuck to the roof of the flat. I smile and admire the spare bedroom, which I have turned into my very own gaming room with a mix of a chilled vibe for if I ever need it.

I look right and peer into my newly decorated bathroom and I nod my head in appreciation. As I continue to walk I see the small storage cupboard already being put to use with everything spare and all the things I need which I have either bought or brought from my old place. I allow myself to step into my bedroom and look around completely speechless.

"Wow, this flat really feels like home. It feels like a hotel room, I can't believe it looks so good." I think of all the times I was forcing myself to paint and help decorate when I was preparing the place for the day I finally moved in. I walk into the living room and smile as I see a corner sofa with recliner seats. The green walls looking very calming in the sunlight as I smile at the lights which I was able to use to write out my name.
I turn around and walk behind the wall to see my kitchen. There's a suitable sized table and chair set in the corner of the room as the grey painted walls as a clock is on the walls clicking away.

"I can't belive I am actually here," I smile at the thought I can call this place my very own. I have been through heavens and hells to be here, and today was the day I was waiting for, though for most of my journey I didn't even know it.

I decide that after all my constant hard work, dedication and perseverance I deserved to chill, so I went into my gaming room and went on Fortnite. I decide to stream just for fun, I never get many viewers, and nor do I ever expect to, I just like the idea of sharing the experience with people who can't experience it themselves. So I get the game up and running going into ranked squad zero build as I was awful at building on Fortnite. As I was in the lobby I got my stream started.

"Hello hello guys, today I'm going to be playing a bit of Fortnite. As you can see on my screen I am playing on squad ranked zero build, I always enjoy playing with other players who might want someone to play with, plus my friends are offline," With that I joined a game and was playing with three other random players.

We placed third me being the second to last player in our squad who died. I streamed for another three hours, only winning two games, in which the first win I was able to get the last kill which gave up the number One Victory battle. I played the last game placing low at 37th with my squad for that game.

Only then had I noticed the time, I said goodbye to the 200 viewers who tuned in on my live and went to make something to eat. I had support with Leah who helped me decidw what I wanted. Eventually we ended up making a lasagne. As we put it in the oven there was a knock on my door and someone walked in. I went over to my living room window and looked outside.

"Rebecca?" Leah spoke.

"Yeah?" I said as I turned.

"Am I alright to give Sam his meds? It shouldn't take longer then five minutes." I saw Sam, greeting him with a smile and a small wave. I was able to recognise him from the time the deputy manager Grace knocked on his door with me one time I was visiting. He was shy and simply said 'hi' then before closing the door when we went. But I though he was cute. Coming back to now I looked at him as he smiled and waved back at me. In some ways he still seemed as shy as he was when I first met him.

"Yeah. Of Course." I let them leave my flat as I thought about how cute Sam was. Then my mind went on to think about the fact I hardly even knew him, I only knew his name and what he looked like. But I didn't know his age, his birthday, what he liked or anything else in fact.

I sighed as I went to my window changing the subject of my thoughts to how lucky I was to have a flat at the front of this building where I could just watch everything without being too close to the entrance of the property. For some unknow reason this flat made me feel safe, I felt a lot safer here then I would have anywhere else.

Suddenly my attention was caught by someone else as I saw Sam leaving the building and heading over to the smoking shelter and he was soon joined by two unknown people, both had more skin on their bones then most people do. I liked to say thicker skin as I hated people who fat or skinny shamed others. I sighed and walked away. Just then Leah walked into my fault again. Just in time to stop me from overthinking.

"Sorry about that Rebecca." She smiled as she started to check the lasagne while I got my plate and cutlery sorted.

"It's alright. No big deal." I said back to her.

I served up my food as she left for the night to do my paperwork. Once I ate I cleaned up took and shower and started debating in weather I should watch YouTube or play a game. My answer came to me when I saw the new MoreSidemen video notification pop up on my TV.

After I watched the video I brushed my teeth, washed my face and did my nightly routine before I went to bed for the night. As soon as I shut my curtains the room was dark, I took off my glasses and got myself comfortable and allowed myself to slowly but surely drift off to sleep.