A Long Wait

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/1/

I walk in through the door and immediately drop everything I have out of my hands. How could she? How could she do this to me?

I walk closer to her, tears rolling down my face, my eyes and face turning red, "How could you do this to me," I ask her. 

She jumps back in shock. 

"Brayden?! I promise this isn't what it looks like!"

She pushes another guy away, his eyes filled with anger.
And he blows up.

"You have a BOYFRIEND?! You told me you were single! You know I didn't want to be anyone's side guy!"

Did he really not know? 

I think about it for a moment, but it doesn't matter. 
He doesn't matter.

"Julia we're done," I say.

She tries to hug me, but before she could, I push her away.

"I said we're done, I'm sorry," I repeat and begin to walk away.

"Brayden, Darrell! Please... one of you! Stay with me," she says as both of us leave.

I've never seen her looking so... sad. Even if that doesn't concern me anymore, I can't help but feel terrible about it.

The other guy begins to talk to me.
"Look, I'm really sorry."

"No need," I say.
I just want to get away from everyone as soon as possible.

Just please let me go...
Let me go.

"No, listen I really am! I can't help but to think that all of this mess is my fault."

I need to get away.

My eyes begin to water once again, "It's fine."
I just need to go.

Darrell, I think his name was, grabs me by the shoulder, "I'm sorry, but I won't let you go."

All the tears begin to fall straight out of my eyes.
How?

"That's how I felt too."

I look at him with a questioning stare, his face seems genuine enough. 
Maybe he is telling the truth.

He goes on, "My ex-girlfriend did the same thing to me to, just a few years ago actually... So I really didn't want to make anyone else feel that way. But, I- uh guess I ended up doing that anyways..." He ended off with an awkward laugh.

"So, you're Brayden, right," he asks me.

I look away, "No, that's actually my middle name... Clara never liked my first name all that much."

"Sorry to hear that, but what exactly is your name?"
His voice was more monotone and careful this time, almost as if he was afraid of upsetting me any further.

"It's just 'J'. No 'J-A-Y', just the letter 'J', it was way too simple and bland for her taste. 'Brayden' sounded much fancier, and perhaps much 'hotter' I assume, like your name."

"Well I personally think your name is great, so don't listen to her."

I laugh just a bit before catching myself.
"Thank you," I say.

"No need," he says to me.

"I was only telling the truth."
He ends off the sentence with a very striking wink, almost hard too ignore.

"Well, I have to go now, but maybe I'll see you sometime?"

His words made me gasp.
I couldn't believe it.

"You want to see me again?"
.
.
.

I ended up agreeing to meet him the next day.


/2/

Now I'm walking to a random park in our city.

In hopes that I will see him again, like he promised.
Just a few years ago.

Yes, it's been that long since I've seen Darrell.

And sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder what happened to him.
Worry what happened to him.

I'm not sure why he matters so much, and how that one encounter made such a difference in my life. But I was sure that it wasn't because that was the day that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me.

But whatever, it doesn't matter anyway.

It's been 3 years now, going on four, he's not coming.
And he never will come for me.

Maybe he was just trying to be nice, and he didn't want to see me at all.

Even if that's true though, 

Why can't I just leave?
Just stop going here at all.

I don't know.
And I guess it doesn't really matter either.

Today is the day.
Today is the way I will give up on the hope that he will come back for me.
.
.
.

I'm now running straight out of the park.
As fast as I can.


/3/

"J!" 
I turn around as quickly as possible.

Who could've possibly said my name in that moment.

I'm surely not that popular, and that was definitely not a friend or family member's voice either.

"It's me," the person says and places their hands on both of my shoulders.
"It's me," he repeats.

"Darrell."

I push him away.

"Don't act all normal as if you didn't abandon me that day 4 years ago," I yell at the top of my lungs.

His eyes swell up with tears, soon going to fall down his face.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Why," I ignore him.

Tears began to fall out of our eyes as he roped us both into a hug.
"I didn't want to do that to you J," he says.

"Darrell..."

He breaks apart from the hug and holds both of my hands in his, "I promise! I really do. I know we only saw each other for one day, but it didn't stop me from feeling any better about ghosting you that day." 

"You see, after that day I went home to find out that my mother was terminally ill. She lives in another country, and I needed to go see her, because my dad isn't here anymore... I'm not sure why I'm even saying all of this to you at all-"

"Darrell," I cut him off.

"You don't need to explain anymore to me. You could've just told me it was personal and I would've left it at that. Now, is your mother feeling better? You better have not just left her like that just to go see me-"

"No, no, she's alright! She lives with me now, and that's actually why I have come back here," he says.
"I just wanted to see you."

I wipe my tears off of my face, "Thank you."

"No, J, thank you, for waiting all of these years, just for me to come back to you."





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