The rest of the year for me was pretty boring.....and lonely. I tried my best to convince October that Amy was lying, but after a month, I gave up. Its now a week before the last day of school and in two days were having our fifth grade promotion.
During the year, I realized a few things about my self. One, I have a passion for playing piano. Two, I love drawing, and singing. Lastly, I realized that I actually prefer being alone and quiet than having to deal with people all the time. It was easier. I could be myself rather than feel like I have to change and be different to please different people.
Plus, I could have peace and quiet whenever I wanted to and no one would wonder or care, even why I was by myself. I guess you could say I was sort of.....happy again.
I guess I didn't realize how to good to be true it was at the time.
On the day of the promotion our teacher placed us alphabetically
in line, and since both of our last names start with m, I was next to Amy. I had to walk, sit and stand next to her the entire time. I tried my best not to sock her right in the face.
The promotion was on a Friday and I ended up spending the weekend the same way I always did, on my phone and occasionally having to clean so my mom didn't freak out.
The week after at school was just fun activities. A field trip to the movies, a party, and a lot of sitting in the class having free time. Which I used mostly to just sit and draw. Then, summer came.
I spent most the summer at hone or with my cousin who lived right across the street from me. One day, she invited me to go the mall with her and her family. We went to Bestseller and found these journals. Using the money I had secretly saved in a box under my bed, I bought one that had cupcakes across the cover.
I never wrote on the book. Well not much. I made an 'all about me' page in the front. It was almost a month through the summer when I finally convinced my parents to buy Minecraft on our PC. I was on a server one night when I stumbled acroos this plot with a sign that said dating 22.
I walked inside and found it was a dating place......obviously, where you could meet different people. I met this one person in particular who I will never forget. Mainly because he changed my point of view on the world.
His name was Matt and we became great friends and then later decided to get married....in the game, not in real life of course. We had known each other about two weeks and discovered that we had many things in common.
But, we had no idea what the other person looked like. I know there are a lot of people trying to tell me that I shouldn't trust him, that he's probably a forty years old and is just pretending to be like this. But for some reason, I believed him. I don't know what it was, but there was something about him that just didn't make him seem like the type of person to do something like that.
I waited about two days until I just couldn't wait anymore. I decided to make the first move and......ask him out. He said yes and we spent the summer together on Minecraft and he made me so happy. At the time we thought it was love, I guess I didn't really know what love was back then.
The school year started and at first it was great. I was in the same charter school with the same people in my class, with a few of the newbies to the school. For some reason a lot of people who rarely ever acknowledged me wanted to be my friends and it was wierd.
It was great at first. Having friends and people to talk to. Even October had started talking to me again! I was so happy, until I realized it. I realized that people only ever hung out with me and talked to me whenever there other, or should I say, real friends were to busy for them.
I couldn't believe it. I was like a last resort to them, and to make things even worse, Matt and I broke up. We just had to much going on in our own lives that we didn't have any time to actually go on the computer. Well, that what's I told him, the truth is that I had plenty of time on my hands and I just wanted to break up because he was just never on anymore. He was never there anymore.
From there, my life just spiraled downward. People stoped hanging out with me as much, my parents were constantly fighting. My dad told me that he felt like I was the only one who was ever there for him and that put pressure on me.
I felt like I cold never be sad. I had to always be happy and strong for him, because I knew something he didn't know that I knew, that he smoked. I saw him and his friend smoking one day in the rearview mirror of his car one night.
I just didn't want to be the reason he died of like lung cancer or something like that. I started writing in my cupcake journal a lot more. Especially since I met Faith. She's been going to my school for as long as I have and one day, she came up to me and we became fast friends.
She inspired me. I ended up filling my book with my drawings songs that I wrote and observations. It was so much fun to write and read, but sometimes, I still think about October.
