I specifically told her that she could not read it here at school, and she could not read it front of anyone. I gave her instructions on how and where to read it.
I told her when she got home, to go into her bedroom or any room and lock herself in it alone. Then, and only then, was she allowed to read it. I left campus first because October was having her dad pick her up from school, and I was riding the bus home.
"Hey Sky, how was your last day of school?" My mom asked as I walked into the kitchen.
"Pretty much the same, but I am soo glad to finally be on Summer break!" That was a huge lie. It's not that I hated summer, because I didn't, it was because Summer is always super boring. I walked to the fridge, pulled out a bottle of orange juice, and walked to my room. As I sat there on my bed, I thought about how October would react after reading the letter.
"There's three ways this could go," I thought to myself. "she'll hate me forever, she won't care and she'll never mention it again, or...." I stop myself from even thinking about the third possibility because I knew that would never in a million years, happen.
I had written a second note, so I could read it later when I got home, and regret ever writting it. And trust me, I definatly regretted it. I opened the folded piece of paper I had in my pocket, and read over it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dear October,
In this letter I tell you nothing but the truth. Do you know why I care so much about our friendship? Do you know why I would never want to hurt you? Do you know why i asked you that one day "what if I told you I liked you?" Your answer is probably no, and if you haven't caught on yet then your stupider than I thought.
It's you October. Your my secret crush. It hurts me every single day to see you with Kyle, when you talk about how in love you are, how you think he's the one. I've cried myself to sleep for so many nights.
I know we can never have what you and Kyle have, but I just thought you needed to know this.
P.S. please don't think of me as thay wierd biselxual girl who had a crush you. Think of me as that wierd bisexual girl who was your best friend.
* * * * * * * * * *
That night I was on kick with October and I brought up the letter.
Skylar: So,did you read it?
October: Yeah....
Skylar: So..
October: It's okay. I don't think we should let this ruin our friendship.
Skylar: I think that's a good idea.
The truth was, I was kind of devastated by those words.
October: Anyway, I have to go. I'm going to the mall with my cousin.
Skylar: Okay, bye!
We didn't talk that much for the next month, but one day she kiked me.
October: Hey, how's your summer been?
Skylar: Boring as hell
October: Well I've been stuck at home being sick
Skylar: That's me almost everyday.
October: So.... I realized something about myself
Skylar: what's up?
October: So I recently came out to my family as..... Bisexual
I'd be lying if I said a huge grin didn't come to my face at that moment.
Skylar: Cool! Accept yourself. I wish I was as brave as you
October: I'm not brave. I cried and ate a whole bunch of ice cream
Skylar: At least you were able to come out to your family. I don't think I'll ever be able to come out.
After that we just talked about random things and people. But I will never forget how happy I was to just hear, or read those words from October. I'm bi. I kept looking at that message, just grining like an idiot.
Two days later........
There was about a month of summer left, when I read something that just my life change permanently. Still not sure if it was for the better.....
I messeged October just to say hey. She replied quicker than I expected.
Skylar: Hey
October: Hey I need to talk to you ASAP
Skylar: What's up?
While I checked through my entire Instagram and Twitter, she typed for like ten minutes before my phone finally vibrated and made the Mario coin noise, which was my text tone.
October: Okay I like you. When I read your note I cried. I never meant to make you feel like that. I thought about it and I realized that I like you. I don't even know if kale and I are dating, we never text each other or talk or anything. I hope you feel the same way. If you don't I understand.
I couldn't help but smile a little. I got up off my couch and left to my room.
Skylar: I don't know what to say
October: Sorry if I made things awkward.
Skykar: No, its okay.
October: OK
Skylar: Well if I'm being honest I think I still have feeling for you too. But, we can't really do anything about it right now
October: Oh, okay. We'll talk about it the next time we see each other.
Skylar: Yeah that sounds good.
Skylar: I'm sorry but, I just want some time to myself. To just, sort things out.
October: K
