Inner Reality

The Beginning and the End

Those are a really beautiful wheelchair, I thought. Thank God I only have one shortcoming, physical incapacity would only further complicate my life. But what is actually missing in me? I know what day it is today – Wednesday. That was easy. I also know my last name and first name.

Am I crazy? However, if we were to talk about madness, we would probably highlight some incomprehensible and illogical things. I mean – I assume. Then it could be said that the one who thinks about madness is mad, right? I know I heard once that thoughts come to a person spontaneously, that actually, he already possesses all the information, he just isn't aware of it yet, at least until they come to mind.

Now, it depends, of course, on how meticulous one is, and how diligently they maintain their compartments in their head. I think that if someone repeated the same sentences more, they would eventually form into a larger, more complex one over time. That's entirely logical, I would say. Like when a baby repeats only "mama" and never "dada." Then over time, they would understand parenthood as a woman's duty.

It wouldn't be strange if something was done more frequently and only in one way. Monotony is a strict teacher. But again, through repetition, we understand the reality around us, what is good, and what is bad. Because for a good thing, doing it once is enough for someone to be happy, and you've succeeded, while for a bad thing, a different fire ignites. Although it can start as good but actually be bad.

I tell you - who would have thought that money would bring so much evil to people? Only one man didn't want to exchange his apples for wool. I mean, I understand him, he also had sheep, what would he need more wool for? But still, he thought it could be better, that an agreement could be reached. But I blame him for spending only a small amount of iron on coined money.

I understand for tools, but he really didn't need weapons. Well, you can't go without an axe in winter when it's cold. Even a mace for defense against wolves I understand, but still. It's interesting how a torch burns longer when soaked in fat, one would initially think that dry things burn longer, but there you see the truth.

..//..

And it was such a beautiful storm. I remember the turbulent water differently from my uncle because he was on the lookout, up high on the mast. He kept yelling for me to turn around, "Turn around, we're heading straight into the storm!" And I didn't quite understand what difference it made if I turned, whether to the right or left, the ship still followed the same path.

There was a certain energy, you know. Yes, the waves constantly battered the ship, so I couldn't recall the melody of a song, but that's irrelevant now. No one can claim to know how something works if they haven't experienced it. And I experienced such an adventure that afternoon. I didn't just like that it thundered a lot, the lightning distracted me, and my socks were always wet. I'd occasionally go to the cabin to change them, but as soon as I stepped out of the cabin, I felt that unpleasant cold.

I probably had a fever due to chills, now that I think about it. But it wasn't my fault, it was as if I were in an icy pool, filled up to my knees. The smell wasn't that bad, there was a slight moldy odor, that's true, but the scent of salt and shells replaced the air mixture. I could just feel the vein pulsating in my temple and my knees trembling more as time passed.

Unfortunately, not everything was as magical as it might seem. My uncle perished that day. And to this day, I don't understand why he tried to impress me with his double somersault. He had never been a great gymnast. Namely, at one point, while I was probably looking towards the open sea and thinking about how big a wave must be for a whale to surf comfortably, the ship shook violently because we came across a chain of huge orange buoys. It quickly darkened, and after some time, the Coast Guard came to rescue me. A sailor's life is tough, I've always said that.