𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄, 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘! | 𝐌. 𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮

001

I wave of emotions hit you as you were staring at the small piece of plastic in your hand.

Hands shaking, feet trembling and heart racing like crazy.
Sweat built up on your forehead and your mind was almost exploding.

No..no this can't be...

As you thought, you sat yourself on the floor. Panic overtook your body and your life slowly shattered in front of your eyes.

You look up the sink and see the four other pregnancy tests on the counter.

You were so shocked, shaken, outraged, overcome by fear and nervous.

You tried to think about how this is a bad dream, how you will wake up in your cosy bed and make yourself ready for work just like you always do.

After you realised that this thought didn't help well, you tried to think about something else. It didn't matter what, as long as you didn't face or think about the truth that was right in front of you

These pregnancy tests these days are always full of chemicals...yeah that should be the reason why...

You normally would've laughed at yourself right now, but you weren't in the state of mind to feel any other feelings than fear and panic right now.

This whole time, your hands nor your knees didn't stop shaking. Suddenly everything became blurry and you started crying.

A single teardrop dripped from your eye to your cheeks and ended up on the ground. And before you know it, the single teardrop became a whole river.

And 10 minutes became hours.

Your eyes were swollen due to crying for the past few hours. Your throat being sore and your nose numb. Your heart didn't stop racing all this time and thousands of thoughts were storming through your mind.

How could this...we protected so well...he with the condom and me with the Pill...

The thoughts didn't stop, it happened the exact opposite; you were consumed by them. Drowning in a pile of sorrow and sadness with your thoughts not finding an end.

You stood up again, knees feeling like jelly. Like you just learned how to walk. Everything felt different for that moment, it felt like you were a whole different person.

The concept of different and indifferent was completely new to you.

You looked in the mirror, your face looked rather unpleasant. Sadness plastered on it; you look the same but at the same time so different.

In fact, everything around you did also look different but at the same time so normal.

You opened the door handle, and the once-dark room you consumed your thoughts in was happily greeted by the sunshine that tickled your nose.

But you, weren't in the mood to smile, it felt like your whole life had been crushed down like it was nothing.

Like it was just one out of millions of fishes in the Ocean, just taken out, violently and abruptly with not even a sign.

The fish life was okay, not glamorous nor miserable. There were days where it was happy, fine. Then it came days where it was not so great, but it was a part of life.

Your life has been turned 180°.

This little plastic thing changed so much for you, you weren't ready for it, you didn't want to think of it.

Of the pregnancy...

You knew it already, it was the whole reason for your so called breakdown. But thinking about it, saying it loudly in your mind was something you weren't used to yet; and you weren't sure if you would ever be.