"Ava Maria Mendez". The dean called my name, and as I began to walk across the stage, I could hear my mom cheer from the front row of the audience. I couldn't hide my grin.
My mom had always been my biggest supporter in life. You see it had only ever been my mom and me. My dad no longer in the picture. I hadn't seen him since I was 7 years old, and he wasn't a person my mom liked to talk about, so I rarely asked.
I shook the deans' hand and took my degree certificate.
"It's an honour Ava and I wish you nothing but the best".
The class president done her speech, the dean said a few words, our hats were thrown and now it was time to celebrate. Leaving the stage I beelined for my mom and welcomed the hug she offered.
"I'm so proud of you, my darling girl. You deserve the world and more and I can't wait to see what lies ahead for you".
All that challenging work and hours of studying had paid off. Days of crying and almost giving up were over. I had finally got my medical degree and was on my way into the world as Dr Ava Mendez.
..
I got a job offer.
I received the news that my residency would be within Lennox hill hospital. I wasn't not happy about it, but I wasn't exactly thrilled. I would have to move there, move to New York, leave my mom.
"How about tonight we get take-out, drink wine and watch old movies?". She spoke.
I folded the letter and slipped it into my back pocket. I wasn't sure how to tell her I would be moving. It didn't settle my nerves that there was a big chance I could bump into my dad.
He lived there.
My dad wasn't your normal dad. He was the leader of a motorcycle club in downtown New York. I didn't know much but I knew enough. I was curious and of course I had questions, but my mom directly refused to answer them. She didn't like talking about the past.
I never knew if it was because talking about him made her angry or sad or both, but I always wondered what he was like. I wondered if I looked like him or if I had any of him in me at all. My traits, my habits.
Apparently, I was just like my mom when she was my age. Was it bad I had only ever seen one picture of him, and it was with me. I must have been about four and we were sat on his bike.
"Ava?".
"Yeah, mom sounds good". It had become quite a regular thing for us. We would watch movies, eat junk food and talk about our day. We didn't always drink wine the wine was more of a treat.
"Are you okay A?".
"Just tired mom. It's been a crazy few weeks". It was still hard to believe that I was finished with university and moving onto practicing actual medicine. To finally be hands on and treating real patients.
"I'm excited for you baby. You're going to become a great doctor". She kissed the side of my head. "Have you received any offers yet?".
I had never lied to her until now. I chewed the inside of my cheek as I shook my head. I had to build up the courage before I broke the news.
"Let's hope you get an offer from the local hospital. I know sometimes that doesn't always happen but I'm praying you get lucky".
My stomach dropped. I wasn't lucky this time. I was moving miles away from home and I felt sick at the thought of leaving her behind. Our relationship was the best. She was my mom, but she was also my best friend.
"What if I don't?". I asked.
"Don't what baby?".
"What if I don't get lucky and I end up miles away?". Do I rip the band aid off and tell her now? The longer I leave it the worse it will be. We never had secrets, we were always open and honest with each other.
