NODUS TOLLENS: CHAPTER 2

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"Love, so many things I got to tell you but I'm afraid I don't know how cause there's a possibility that you'll look at me differently..."

Omniscient

Beyoncé knelt in the familiar sanctuary of her father's church, her heart heavy and her emotions clouded. Tears welled in her eyes and flowed down her cheeks. Her anguished face was lifted upward, her mind a whirlwind of confusion.

Quiet murmurs and half-formed prayers tumbled from her lips, never quite reaching an endpoint. She could feel her father's voice echoing in her ears, whispering,

"The Lord knows your heart,"

whenever she stumbled over her prayers, her emotions forming a lump in her throat, choking her attempts to pour her soul out to the Lord.

Since leaving the church, her father's comforting words had become elusive, slipping through her grasp more and more with each passing day.

"I used to always know what to say,"

she muttered under her breath with a watery chuckle, but the laughter betrayed the emptiness that lay within.

She rose from her kneeling position, defeated, and feeling more bereft than when she arrived. She had originally sought solace in hopes of finding answers to her turmoil.

The church building itself stood as a solemn reminder of her past, a girl beloved and esteemed in the church transformed into a successful businesswoman and revered property investor. She was proud of how far she had come. Still, her pursuit of self-discovery had left her feeling more adrift than she ever wanted to admit.

Numerous aspects of her life had undergone significant change. Her relationships with her family and with God, even friendships she had once held dear. Perhaps it was how she had grown attached to Chloe that often kept her grounded and in line when she felt like she was losing her footing. Chloe was the only reliable pillar in her unstable world.

Building a new identity beyond the boundaries of her familiar Southern Christian environment had proved to be more challenging than she ever envisioned. The world outside her black Christian home had coerced her into wearing a facade of stoicism and assertiveness, although she often felt neither.

She had learned to navigate through life's tumultuous moments, unraveling its fair share of joys, sorrows, and horrors. Yet sometimes her dilemmas demanded more than a tub of ice cream and a television show; they yearned for the warmth of her childhood home.

Stepping outside the church, the sunlight glared brightly, a sharp contrast to the cool, air-conditioned environment she had left behind. She made a swift retreat to her Audi RS Q8, settling into its luxurious, custom-made leather seats. The sleek, futuristic design of the car seemed to mirror her own persona.

As she drove home, the time seemed to stretch out interminably, a subtle feeling of anxiety creeping into the edges of her consciousness. Facing her parents made her nervous for the first time. They had always possessed the uncanny ability to chip away at her mask, and this time, she had more that she wanted to keep to herself.

Arriving outside the opulent two-story home she had once called her own, she took a deep breath and cast a poignant glance at her surroundings. With no conscious thought, her legs carried her to the front door of her childhood home. Riddled with shared dread and anticipation, she reached forward and rang the doorbell.

As she waited, her gaze dropped to the intricately designed mahogany porch flooring. The creak of the front door drew her attention upward, and she was met with her beautiful mother's warm, gracious smile, a shy one playing on her own lips.

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