A/N I'm not trying to get attention, I just need a way to get all my feelings that are bottled up inside of me out and I decided writing would be the best way to do that.
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When I was just 5 years old, I thought my life was perfect. I lived in San Diego, California with my mother while my dad lived in North Carolina. My half sister and half brother stayed in Arizona with their father.
I always wondered why people distanced themselves from my mom. I always thought she was a nice person and deserved more than the world. Sure, a lot of times she would yell and beat me half to death, but doesn't every mom do that? I still cared about her no matter what.
Mother's Day (9 years old)
I woke up extremely early just so I could make a special breakfast for my mom. I collected the cards that I had made for her and started making chocolate chip pancakes. When I finished, I topped the pancakes with whipped cream and cherries then set it down on the table with her cards. While I was washing the dishes, she walked into the kitchen with a look of rage. Why would she be mad? I was trying my best to make her happy yet she's still angry. She glided across the kitchen to where I was facing towards her with a plate in my hands and she punched the plate down. The glass shattered onto the floor and a few flying pieces got stuck in my legs. She continued to yell at me about how I shouldn't have made such a mess in the kitchen then left with the pancakes. I wasn't shocked by her actions, it wasn't anything new. I just wish she would appreciate what I did to try and make her happy.
11 years old
It was about 4am when I heard a scream coming from the living room. I then heard my cousins, aunt, and grandpa running towards the sound. There was a lot of rumbling, so I decided to take a peek of what was happening. All I saw was my brother with a plastic bag over his head while my mom choked him and my family members trying to split them apart. I was traumatized by the sight so I ran back to my room and cried my eyes out. I then heard more yelling which I later found out that my mom stabbed my aunt. My mom was then put into jail for about 3 weeks then was bailed out by my grandmother.
My crazy mom
My mom always talked to herself and believed that people were always spying on her. Whenever we were out in public, she would yell at random people and accuse them of random things that they did not do. For example, one time when we were in a food store, she went up to one of the ladies that worked at the bakery and loudly yelled, " I know what you did. Stop bothering me and my daughter before the government comes after you." Then she stared whispering very loudly to herself.
My mom mentally and physically abused me for 10 years of my life. She has busted my lip, caused me to get multiple stitches, and so many other things. She always told me I was worthless, fat, ugly, stupid, I wasn't good enough, and that I didn't deserve to live. I believed every word she said and I still do. She never had a job so we lived off of the money that the government gave her which was $500 every month. We lived in possibly the worst apartment ever that was taken over by cockroaches and the rent was $400 so we only had $100 left every month. She rarely bought food for me so I would barely eat and she never bought any clothes or anything for me. She always spent the remaining amount of money on drugs. Only my best friend knew about all of this and he would always try to help me out by giving me some money to buy clothes and food for myself and I love him to death for helping me.
14 years old
It was 10pm and my mom was yelling my brothers name. I knew my brother wasn't outside because he was in Texas with my sister, but my mom always believed that he was outside getting beat up. I told her to shut up so she took my phone and smashed it with a hammer. I tried to leave the apartment, but she grabbed my hair and pulled me back inside. I told her not to grab my hair, which angered her, so she pushed me against the wall, grabbed a knife and held it against my neck. She threatened to kill me. I can't clearly remember what happened after that, but I remember my mom leaving to go to the store so once I knew she was gone, I ran to my room and grabbed my phone (which surprisingly still worked) and I called my sister. I told her everything that happened and she put my brother on the phone so he could help comfort me. I could hear mom outside the door, so I had to hang up and hide the phone or I would get into even more trouble. The next day at school, my French teacher could tell that something was wrong with me so she called another teacher to watch over the class while she talked to me outside. She knew a little bit about the problems I had with my mom and she was one of the only adults I ever trusted. She asked me what was wrong, but I told her I was fine and everything was great. I guess she could tell that something was definitely wrong so she asked me if something happened with my mom and I broke down and told her. She took me to one of the guidance counselors and she had me tell the story to him. He called the police and told me to wait in the office. I sat down in one of the chairs that was in the teachers lounge and just stayed there until the police officer came in to talk to me. He basically questioned me about every single thing that has happened (which overall that day I had to tell the story exactly 11 times) and then he took me to a girl home (basically where kids who don't have someone to watch over them go). I never got to say bye to any of my friends, but everyone saw me leaving in a police car so there were probably a lot of rumors about me. I only had to stay at the girls home for a day because my dad bought the next plane ticket they had to California and picked me up the next morning. Now I live in North Carolina and I've been here for about 2 months. Even though my life is a lot better now, I still have those days where I feel as if I can't make it another day, but I still hold on and try to stay strong. 7-10-15
