I'll show you depression (Zarry)

Not Like the movies

~Zayn~

I was running as fast as I could, shouting till my throat burned maybe even bled. I knew I should've never gone on a walk in the middle of the night. Matter of fact, what the fuck was I even thinking? My parents left yesterday for a month long business trip and here I was running for my life from some random man that would murder me. That's just great, init? I'm gonna die brutally alone in some forest and my parents won't even know until someone finds my goddamned body. Suddenly out of absolutely no where I fucking trip! Next thing I know there's some disgusting 40 year old busted man thrusting in and out of my virgin hole. I remember screaming, kicking, scratching, punching. Anything that could get him off of me, but nothing worked. Nothing worked! No one could here me because we were in the middle of nowhere and he just left my body laying there. I felt so used and disgusting and slutty. I can't believe that hap-

"Umm Zayn? Zayyyyn? Are you there?"
One of my many friends, josh was waving and snapping his hand in front of my face.
"Uhh yeah, just zoned out. Didn't sleep much yesterday, had to finish my English essay."
"Oh me too bro! I'm probably going straight to sleep when I get home!"
We talked a bit more before parting our ways walking to our cars. I just noticed that I hadn't taken my depression and anxiety pills. No wonder why I was freaking out in math and practically shaking when I couldn't figure out the intense problem. I hated the way I was, I hated myself. Why couldn't I be normal like everyone else? Cool, calm and collected and not almost on the verge of tears when my teacher would snap at me and stay thinking about it for the rest of the day. Instead I was a boy that got raped when he was 16 and had to take meds just to be okay. No one knew though, not my parents, not even my closest friends. No one knew about how I really was and I wanted it to stay like that.

But the only thing I hated more than my disgusting self was my fucking high school. Now that place was what I called a shit hole. No I didn't get bullied, no one was getting pushed against lockers or tripped by a jock. Nothing like that. It's just some of the people here just definitely get under my skin. Like there is this whole group of people that lie about what they "go through" or that they self harm or have depression. When really they're just some sick mother fuckers who are rich and never had to worry about a single thing in their life. The annoying thing is that students and even teachers fall for this shit and feel bad for them and tell them how cute they are. What society fails to realize is that depression is not beautiful. Depression is not a skinny girl with a big sweater and a messy bun. Depression was nothing like people make it out to be on tumblr or the movies. Nothing like the movies at all. People that are truly depressed don't flaunt it around like the newest phone or outfit. They're the ones that would rather not want everyone and their mothers to know. Any ways I'm getting too carried away with this and it's honestly making me very upset. I think too much about shit that shouldn't even bother me. But, I have the right to be bothered by this. Right?

I got out of my car noticing my parents ones were gone. I rolled my eyes walking to the front door seeing a note saying they were gonna be gone for a month and to be careful. I snatched the note off the door, ripped it up and threw it on the ground and furiously opened the door. My mood swings were coming in. Just as I walked in, our house phone was playing back a message notifying me someone had called, most likely for my parents. Who the hell still has these in there house anyways?
"Mr. And Mrs.Malik if you guys still want the business trip for next week call me back on this number. I'm guessing no one is home right now to take my call, bye."
"Nobodies home no one's ever home!" I slightly yelled at the answering machine before pushing the button and picking up the house phone "No thank you miss whoever the fuck you are! They're already on a month long trip call someone else who actually gives a shit!" Slamming the phone down and probably breaking it. I went upstairs pushing open my door feeling the warmth and scent of my self from yesterday. Looking at my bage carpet, I could see the small droplets of blood reminding me of last nights events. I shrugged my shoulders purpousley stepping on the stain on the way to my dresser. As if turning the other cheek will take away all of the problems.