It's Just Rae

Chapter Seven

“I’ve got to… go,” I say half to myself as I pull myself up from the couch and walk mechanically out of the room. A few people call after me, asking me what’s wrong and where I’m going, but I can’t reply. I speed up as I near the door to Tricky’s house, and by the time I hit the pavement I’m in a full-out sprint.

I’m running blindly down the sidewalks, letting my feet carry me to wherever it is I’ll end up. I just can’t believe it. It’s gotten super foggy since I was last running down the street, which might have had something to do with how it happened. As I sprint, the fog turns to light rain. I collapse on a bench and look up at where I am. I’ve found my way to a large park that I don’t recognize. I have no idea where I am, but I find that I don’t really care. Now that I have time to stop and breathe, the tears start. It’s almost like one of those depressing scenes in movies, with the rain getting harder as my crying does. It’s pouring now, and everyone’s running to find some form of shelter. I’m still sitting there, not caring about the rain, shivering as the wind cuts through my thin cotton top.

I see muddy sneakers run up to me and stop. A warm hand rests on my shoulder and I hear a familiar gravelly voice say, “Raelyn?” I pull my face up from my hands to look at Logan. I’m sure I look a terrible mess, dripping wet, mascara running, and eyes puffy and red. “What’s wrong?” he asks me worriedly, kneeling down beside me. I don’t respond, so he takes action. “Come on, it’s freezing out here He pulls his jacket off and drapes it over my back, takes my hand, and pulls me into an empty gazebo on the outskirts of the park, shielded from the rain.

“Thanks for the jacket,” I offer quietly through my tears.

“Welcome. Now seriously, Rae, what’s happened?” His face is wrought with concern. We’re both standing in the middle of the gazebo, but I drop down cross-legged onto the floor and Nate joins me. I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what I’m about to say.

“There was… a car accident this morning. A girl was running across the road. The driver of a black minivan was checking her texts and not paying attention to the road, and couldn’t stop in time. She hit the runner. The driver was unharmed, but the girl she hit is in the hospital unconscious with six broken ribs and a knee that’s completely torn.” I pause, shivering both from crying and from the cold. Logan lays an arm over my shoulders and I lean into his warmth. “It’s Addy. She’s been unconscious for 3 hours now, and they won’t even let us in to see her yet. I don’t know what’s going to happen to her,” I sob.

“Oh, my God, Raelyn.  I am so, so sorry,” Logan empathizes. “I’m sure she’ll be okay,” he adds. “Everything will be okay.” I feel him take my hand, rubbing it softly with his thumb. We sit there in silence like that for a while, with me crying and him holding me, the rain still pouring. Logan continues to repeat “It’ll be okay, it’s all okay.” As the words swirl around in my mind, they become kind of a mantra for me.

I look up into Logan’s cashmere grey eyes and can see sincere worry carved into his face. After a moment, Logan’s eyes meet mine, and we hold each other’s gaze for what seems like forever. I didn’t even realize I was leaning in, but suddenly I find my face barely inches away from Logan’s.  He presses his lips to mine. My mind tells me I should be thinking about Addy right now, but I can’t help but kiss him back. We both pull apart at the same moment, our foreheads touching. I catch my breath and bury my face back into Logan’s shoulder and hold him a little tighter.

I’m still crying as we sit there and wait out the rain. I’ve gotten his shirt all tear-stained and wet, but he doesn’t seem to mind. I notice that he smells wonderful, like fresh sheets and grass and something musky.

At long last, the rain dies down enough for us to go out. I hug Logan, and into my hair he says, “I really do hope Addy’s alright.”

“Yeah, me too. I’m going back to the hospital now.”

“I can give you a ride, if you need,” Logan offers as we walk away. His thumb is tracing patterns on the back of my hand.

“Yes, please!”

“Okay, the car’s right over here.” We wander over to Logan’s navy sedan, lingering in the sprinkling rain.

I’m soaking wet, so we stop at my house so I can change. Logan sits in the car and waits for me while I run upstairs to Addy’s and my bedroom. When I see all her stuff strewn across both sides of the room as usual, I want to cry again. It looks so normal in here, but it’s so NOT out there. Addy’s been hit by a car. Nothing is NORMAL about that. She’s lying unconscious in the Intensive Care Unit of a hospital, with none of us knowing when she’ll be out. I quickly grab a clean grey Duke University sweatshirt and pull on dry Under Armor shorts, and am out of the room as fast as possible.

I get back in the car and sigh with relief to be out of the house again. “What’s gotten you all shaken up?” Logan inquires.

“Being in Addy’s and my room just kind of made me sad, I don’t know.” I shook it off and Logan didn’t press the subject any more, thank goodness.

15 minutes later, we’re parked outside the hospital. “Sorry about your shirt,” I laugh, gesturing to the tear stains that cover the shoulder of his light blue T-shirt.

“It’s fine, really. I don’t fancy this shirt all that much anyway.” He smiles.

“I wish you could come in with me.”

“I’ll come visit her as soon as I possibly can, and that’s a promise.”

“I appreciate it. I mean, well, Addy would. Well, thanks. For everything.” I turn away to open the door, hesitate, and turn back to Logan. I give him a quick peck on the lips, and as I pull away, he leans in, elongating the kiss. The feeling lingers on my lips, tingling as I say goodbye and leave the car, and even as I walk into the hospital.

I sign in and find Addy’s room. My parents are already sitting by her bedside, with an empty chair beside them for me. I slide into it. The tears that had almost faded away were threatening to spring back up as I looked at my sister with all those tubes and IV’s and bandages on her. My mom takes my hand and I feel the ghost of Logan’s there. What did today mean to him? Are we still just friends? Are we a thing now? I shouldn’t even be thinking about this now, I scold myself. My sister is lying unconscious in the ICU and all I can think about is if Logan and I are a “thing?” I need to get my priorities straight.

The three of us all sit there in overwhelming silence, with only the sounds of Addy’s various monitors beeping. I can't decide if the beeps are saving me from going crazy in this silence or just making it all the worse. After what seems like hours but according to the clock is only ten minutes, a tall woman with long brown hair and scrubs strides importantly into the room.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Hennagin. You must be Adelyn’s sister?” the doctor says to me, offering me her hand to shake. “I’ve already met your parents. I’m sure you must be taking this hard,” she sympathizes, “but Adelyn is a great patient. She’s doing very well and we should expect her to awaken quite soon.”

“How soon is ‘quite soon?" My dad interrupts.

“With the amount of effort we're currently putting forth to get Adelyn's condition stabilized, she should be joining us again by, say, Wednesday at the very latest." Dr. Hennagin assures him. She starts doing some checks on Addy and explaining what’s going on in a bunch of medical terms that go right over my head. I’m terrible at science. All I understand is that a tendon in her knee is ripped in two, so after she wakes up she’ll be in a huge brace for months while it heals. Although I don’t understand much of what she’s telling us, Dr. Hennagin sounds really confident that Addy will be okay, so I feel a lot better. We leave far more reassured about her situation at seven that night.

I sleep in my parents’ room, though, because I still don’t feel right in my own.