PUGNARE

Chapter 4

My timer ring early in the morning. I wake up and prepare my stuff to go for a walk. Now it is been one month where I start eating healty food and where I do my sports. I really lose weight. But I dont lose much because of the fact that I want to lose weight healthy and not in a way where I would gain my weight. I want to lose weight right so i can eat a lot not like other girls who extremely eat nothing. You have to eat to lose weight. I will not understand girls who do extremely unhealthy diets. I speak with my doctor and I get a diet plan to lose my weight slowly.

Unfortunately, I have to go back to school today. My mother is worried about me because she thinks I'm scratching myself. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell her that it was Eneda. Jakob, Eneda and Luca will kill me one day. I don't have a father and I live in bad circumstances, but people just don't understand things like that.

On the way to school, I think about my studies. I definitely want to study medicine. I want to save people's lives. I want to heal people and make them feel better. That's why I'm studying a lot to get a scholarship.

At school, I'm starting to sit in my seat. Suddenly Jakob comes into the room and starts to ask very loudly why I'm scratching myself. I don't know what else to say to someone like him.

Jakob: Oh dear Mia, why are you scratching yourself? Shouldn't you see a psychologist instead?

The whole class starts laughing. I don't react and just let it happen.

My school days will always pass like this. There's nothing I can do about it.

When I get up from class because I'm going to the toilet. I have to go to the toilet very urgently, I am grabbed and immediately pushed into a room where Jakob starts kicking me all the time. I try to resist but unfortunately he is far too strong. I start to whimper. What have I done to the world? My body is covered in bruises because of them and I can't do anything because their parents are so rich, because no teacher does anything, because these people would buy their freedom with lawyers.

At some point Jakob lets go of me. The last thing he says to me before he closes the door is that I deserve everything.

Some people say that revenge only comes from the weak. Let someone tell me that it wouldn't be normal if I didn't take revenge. You deserve it. At least a lesson for life.

I want a revenge where they all will regret it. 

I want to see them suffer. They have destroyed me. I have not harmed anyone's soul. Now it's time to change sides. I'm not like them in any case. I won't hurt them physically that wouldn't make me any better. But I will break their hearts because they are the children of the devil. As disgusting as their personalities are, they can only be friends with the devil.

After school, I do my homework and get ready to go jogging later. I have my headphones on now and listen to the song "dying on the inside" by Nessa Barrett on the way. The song calms me down and I realize that sport isn't so bad. Over time, I've realized that I can relieve my stress through sport. It feels liberating to switch off for a moment. I've also lost a bit more weight than at the beginning, which I noticed today, for example, in my clothes because they've become looser.

When I get back home, I quickly take a shower and get my things ready for school. My arm is no longer beautiful. They've even left me with visible scars. Why are some people so hated? The situation is coming to an end anyway, soon I'll be finished with school and I won't have to see anyone anymore.

Today is the weekend and I honestly don't know what to do on a Saturday evening. I went to the bakery this morning to help so that my mother doesn't have to pay for everything. I also need to be able to help my mother. In the end, I decided to go for a walk in the woods. It's actually really scary to do it in the middle of the night. I think I've become very hardened to all the bullying that has happened to me. A lot of people think bullying isn't bad, but it stays with you for the rest of your life and even leads to suicide attempts. Bullying should finally be taken seriously by people.

Suddenly I hear gunshots and screams. I don't know why, but I move exactly to where I heard the shots. I am somehow no longer sane. When I arrive, I see a complete bloodbath. A strong man, probably twenty or twenty-one, is lying on the ground and it looks like he's losing a lot of blood. I don't know what makes me do it, but I approach him and feel like helping him immediately, also because I want to study medicine later to help other people. I immediately put on my sweater and press it on his wound so that he doesn't lose any more blood. I look into his eyes and have to swallow when I see how beautiful his eyes are. They are green. I have never seen such a beautiful green. 

Please hang in there. The ambulance is on its way. I try to keep him awake as much as possible.