"Please, please" I begged, his hands tightening round my neck "Please don't do this anymore". The tears streamed down my face as the air from my lungs seemed to constantly escape, i was fighting for every breath. When did it all get to this, my mom always said i had a bright future ahead of me, was it all just a facade or is there any thing like hope. I stopped looking at the floor and glanced up at my husbands face, his once blue eyes now darkened by hate. I felt fear shiver all over me as i stared into the cold, bitter void behind his eyes. "You are nothing to me" he said, throwing me to the floor and leaving the room, i heard his footsteps descending down the stairs. He often said things like that, but oddly enough it didn't make the words cut less. I stood up and went to the bathroom, as I stepped in I caught a glance of myself in the mirror, a bruise around my neck just freshly formed. I touched my neck slightly, feeling the grooves of his hands all around it. "What happened to the little girl I used to be?" I wondered, thinking about all the good times of the past now gone into the wind.
"How did i get here? What did I honestly do to be this worthless at the end of the day. I cant even recognize myself anymore." The thoughts swarmed around me, eating away at my very being, the tears flowing like a stream, cascading down my cheeks. I've never been so lonely with a bunch of people constantly around me. I choked at the thought of church tomorrow, having to be around Susan and the rest of the ladies at church, as they all talked about their lives. I can't even imagine the thought. Suddenly, he started to climb the stairs, my heart raced as i turned off the lights crawling into bed and pretending to be trying to fall asleep. He walked in, i could feel his glare from the back of my head. He then crawled in right next to me, the bed was unusually silent. I heard him snoring, but i couldn't sleep, he did everything to shatter me but still remained in one piece. I stayed restless as the hours started ticking by one by one, I got up and gingerly tip toed out the door and went to our balcony. Looking at the gorgeous view of the night stars.
I looked off the edge of my balcony, a paper flying towards me as the wind carried it to me. I caught it mid air, searching for hope in this one page, only to find another one of my husband's posters. "Graham ministries, a church dedicated to serving the people." it read. I am a pastors wife, of course i know God is out there, why would He try to talk to me through a meaningless piece of paper. If God truly was out there and genuinely cared about me, I wish He could be there for me right now. I don't want the God of my childhood, who constantly waited for the opportunity to send me to hell because i disobeyed my parents. I want the God who genuinely cares about me and not the points i have to get to heaven. I want God, not the God of the church we run, but something more. But sadly, wishes aren't true, if so, I'd be out of here already.i crumpled the paper and tossed it off the balcony, retreating inside realizing there is no such thing as hope.
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4 Tales: A Christian Story
SpiritualThomas Walker, an alcoholic judged by everyone for his choices, Hannah Graham, wife of Joey Graham, a pastor at their local church, with a seemingly perfect life, Alora Robinson, a quiet teenager at the local school with an average everyday life and...