sweet nothings (stris)

not one nick on your finger, you just asked me to hold you (post 4x08)

Chris goes to her family's the night of Erika's death. Street checks on her.

Warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, grief/mourning, nightmares, the Alonso Family

-x-

Chris doesn't know how she made it to Sarzo and Helena's house, just that she's here. The last thing she remembers is talking to FID and then being in the locker room to change, leaving without another word to anyone. A fog hangs thick and heavy over the entire world, and Chris feels like a ghost of herself as she gets out of her truck and walks to their front door.

It feels wrong to just walk in even though it's the house she grew up in. The knocks reverberate in her head but the sound is warped underneath her own blood rushing in her ears. Helena opens the door with a wide smile on her face that falls the second she sees the state Chris is in.

"Chrissy?"

The tone of Helena's voice raises concern, so Sarzo joins her.

"Chris?" He asks, worried enough that it snaps Chris out of her daze, because her family never calls her Chris.

"I'm—" Chris starts, looking around like she's realizing where she is for the first time. Her voice is shaking with tears, more threatening to fall as one hand grips the strap of her backpack until her knuckles turn white.

"I'm sorry, I didn't, um... I'll go."

Where, Chris has no clue. The thought of facing her apartment is enough to drown her in a sea of memories and panic.

"No," Helena says, reaching out a hand to hold Chris's and then seeing the stain of red that fills in the cracks of Chris's knuckles. Helena's heartbeat jumps, and she holds Chris's hand tighter and tamps down her own fears.

"C'mon, Chrissy. Whatever happened, you're staying here tonight."

At Helena's gentle tug, Chris takes a step forward through the doorway, further guided by Sarzo's hand on her shoulder. She feels one of them pull at her backpack strap until she drops her hand so it can slide down her back and sit against the wall next to the door. Chris's eyes bounce between them, desperately trying to connect with them in a way that seems impossible from whatever glass wall that formed between her and the rest of the world after she hung up with Luca.

"Erika died," Chris whispers, the words coming from an unknown place inside her. Looking between her Aunt and Uncle again, her eyes beg them to understand without her needing to say anything else.

Their slow, gentle nods tell her they do. A hair of the weight that's crushing Chris is relieved.

"I'm so sorry, Chrissy," Sarzo says, pulling Chris in for a hug that she doesn't return, but it soothes her all the same. "We know you were close. You can stay here for as long as you need."

Chris nods, small and fast, letting the tears fall where they may so she doesn't smear Erika's blood over her face.

"I didn't finish breaking down the bed." Chris says, the picture forming in her mind quickly being washed away by Helena.

"Absolutely not, Chrissy," Helena starts, and lowers her volume at Chris's subtle flinch. "You're not sleeping in the garage, sweetheart. We'll figure that out later. C'mon, do you want a shower?"

Too much to process, Chris only catches Helena's last question, and she gives her another small nod. Helena wraps her other arm around Chris's shoulders, tosses Sarzo a look, and then guides Chris down the hallway towards the bathroom.

Sarzo goes to the garage to collect an errant shirt and a pair of pajama shorts that Chris left in the midst of moving. He knocks on the bathroom door, opening it at Helena's okay to see Helena snagging towels from under the sink while Chris washes her hands, the water running pink as it swirls down the drain.