Induced

Induced By Alexis St James

    It was May 5th 2019 the night of my junior prom. It was a Sunday. The weather was perfect, it was sunny and the temperature was in between not too cold and not too hot. It was perfect. It was windy but not unbearable. It was also the last day I ever saw my mom. She came into my house a few hours before we went to take my pictures. Saying she didn't look good is an understatement. She was swollen, everywhere. Water retention. She was moaning and groaning the entire time, pain. She couldn't barely walk. She knew she was dying, she made it an obligation to come see me for my junior prom. I was 17. I had just turned 17 actually. See the thing is I knew she was dying it was hard for me to even enjoy my prom that night thousands of thoughts running their course through my head. I never got pictures with her that night, she couldn't walk so she stayed in the car. I'll never forget this day. Fast forward May 7th 2019. My Aunt randomly shows up at my house. I knew something was wrong just by the way my Aunt's face looked. Serious. Scared. She asked me to come into the bathroom because she needed to talk to me. My heart sped up. The thoughts are drowning me. My Aunt sat me down the first thing I said to her was "this has something to do with my mom" my voice breaking as the tears threatened to fall.  I knew it had something to do with my mom because of the way she looked just 2 days before.  My aunt looks me in the eyes "your moms in the hospital in a drug induced coma" my breath catches in my throat. Suffocated. I feel the tears fall, but I'm completely numb. I can't breathe as the walls are closing in. My Aunt is still talking but I can't hear her. All I can hear is the pounding of my heart in my ears. I look up "How Long?" I ask her and she replies ''Since The night of your prom" and I was hurt because she's been in the hospital for 2 days and it felt like my Aunt had stolen the last conversation I would've ever had with my mom. I went to the hospital right after that conversation. I stayed there for 2 days, went in and saw my mom as often as I could. I talked to her because doctors told me the hearing was always the last thing to go. I told her that I forgave her, and that I loved her. I couldn't touch her because she was septic. I had to wear a paper gown, a mask, and gloves every time I went to step into her room. It sucked because I couldn't even touch her and she was dying. She was on life support swollen up like a balloon. The water retention had gotten worse every single time I went into that room she deteriorated even more than the last time I saw her. Her skin was turning yellow with each passing moment. Liver failure. All her organs were shutting down one at a time. She was already brain dead. May 10th 2019. The worst day of my life. My entire family was there for my moms last moments. They told us we could keep her alive but only as a vegetable. We refused because my mom wouldn't have wanted that and we definitely didn't want her to live like that. She wasn't even a person anymore; she had zero brain function and all her organs were shut down. We were all gathered in her room as they shut off her life support. I was hysterical. I had my head down on her crying "please don't leave me" repetitively. She took her last breath around 2 pm that day. I sat at the hospital with her for at least 2 hours after the fact. Crying non stop, I finally got to touch her. I had to leave eventually rigor mortis was setting in and they needed to be able to move her. I walked out of the room just staring behind me the whole time. She was gone. It changed me of course. That was my mom, the woman who gave birth to me and she was just gone. The holidays aren't the same anymore and neither am I.