( Aether Harem ) ♡ Teyvat.Net - BEING REWORKED !

𝐗𝐈𝐈. 𝐅𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩?

Xiao finds himself grappling with a sense of profound despair, a feeling he believed he had left behind when his former friend group, who was like his second family, departed from his life.

Isolating himself in his room, he grapples with a self-imposed blame that drives him to the brink of wanting to tear at his own hair. Despite acknowledging his own faults and recognizing the validity of their departure, the prospect of extending an apology eludes him.

Perhaps it's because, deep down, he feels he deserves this. Abandoned by his biological family and raised in less-than-ideal circumstances, he has long carried the weight of being an outsider who never truly belonged.

Experiencing their gestures of affection and genuine care, he can't shake the pervasive sense that he doesn't deserve such kindness. The belief in his inherent unworthiness festers, convincing him that he deserves to be unloved and abandoned, much like the experiences that shaped his past.

In response, he instinctively distances himself, employing every means to avoid those who, despite their efforts to make him feel accepted, unwittingly contribute to his internal struggle.

He didn't know why.

Why?

Why was he doing this to himself?

Why did it feel right, even though it hurt him?

It hurts.

Stop doing it.

Why wouldn't he stop?

Why did he do this to himself?

Why was he so selfish that he didn't even care about the fact that this hurt them too?

Why did he only care about himself?

Why?

Why.

He gaslit himself into thinking he deserved this, and it worked.

It worked so perfectly.

So perfectly that he regrets it so much.

But this is what he asked for, no?

This is what he wanted, no?

This is why he did it.

This is what he wanted.

So why does he regret it? Why does it hurt him?

Why can't this feeling stop?

Please stop.

Stop it.

Stop.

"FUCKKKKKK!" Xiao's frustration erupted into a muffled groan as he buried his face in his pillow. Instead of attending his classes, he opted to seclude himself within the confines of his room, unable to summon the courage to face anyone.

"Leave me alone, leave me alone, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" he yelled, frustration boiling over. His room became a chaotic swirl of tossed items, each one a manifestation of his internal turmoil. Albedo's messages only fueled the flames, adding more salt to an already festering wound.

And the so-called "helpers"? Who the fuck do they think they are? Implying he's weak? Pathetic?

It felt like an insult.

Why?

Why does he keep sabotaging himself?

They're just trying to help.

Why is he snapping at them for trying?

They're doing nothing wrong.

"FUCK YOU!" Xiao's cry was muffled by his pillow. He despised himself, every fiber of his being. He knew he was in the wrong, yet he pointed fingers everywhere else, directing his anger outward.

He knew he was wrong.

Why does he persist?

Please, stop.

It hurts, Aether.

Help, please.

"I'm sorry."