Loving a Narcassist - A Memoir

Prologue

What is a Narcassist, anyway? 

I asked myself that question many times. But the thing is, there's not a clear cut answer to that. 

Everyone has different experiences. I am just one of many. Narcissism present itself in many phases and traits. From love bombing, to gas lighting, to full on abuse. A Narcassist can have feelings but not in the way you are I do. They do not feel the same emotional pull of guilt, shame, empathy or consideration of others. It does not matter if you are their mother, father, wife, child or sibling. Narcassist are always in it for themselves. And this means that even when they so called show these emotions, there is always an ulterior motive. Make the situation about, ME.

Now I'm not saying that my ex husband didn't love me at all. There was a time when he did. And I use to wonder how I fell into eleven years of turmoil with him. What made me stay, what attracted me there in the first place? And after a few years of soul searching and really looking at my life from childhood on, I started to fit the puzzle pieces together. By doing so, I gained peace. 

Now I am going to share my experience with you. The very personal and deep parts of my life that I keep hidden from many. Some are light hearted and funny and others are very dark. 

Before you take this journey with me, please understand that if you are currently in a similar situation...if you relate to any part of this story, you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you. And you too can heal from loving a narcassist.