Loving a Narcassist - A Memoir

Stairs In The Bathroom

As I spent more time with Jake, the more attached I grew to the idea of everything. My family was never close but his family seemed unbreakable. 

Jake had nine siblings. Four of them were from his mom. The others were from his Dad and other women. Jake was the oldest, followed by Sean, Aaliyah, Nia and Doug. He also had two sisters I met from his Dad's side that were only a few months apart in age, Ashley and Jesse. Another brother, Jason. And one more named Ramone that I never in eleven years did meet in person. And finally a step sister with the same first name as me. He also had a huge family of aunts and uncles, a step dad that no one liked and multiple grandparents and great grandparents and so many cousins. And I met all of them over just that first summer. 

His Mom treated me like I was her own daughter almost immediately. Always happy to see me walk in and greeted me. Same for his siblings. One of his aunts and two young cousins lived in the house that summer and were also very kind to me. 

The first night I decided to stay the entire night I planned well. I packed my bag, advised my parents I was going to stay at my friend's house, timed the drive and called right about when I would be arriving from the kitchen at Jake's house and said I had made it. That night was probably the first interesting night of all the random stories I would collect. As I walked in the house, Aaliyah greeted me "hey sissy!!" and then it was followed by two of Jake's aunts sitting in the living room. His cousins were watching tv and his step dad smoking a cigarette in the kitchen, dragging his smoke through the air as he walked to the bedroom. His aunt pulled out a blunt and lit it right there in the living room. I had never been around marijuana previously. I had no idea that contact high was a thing. So I sat there just breathing in the smoke as if it were normal. This is just a normal setting. Everything is fine. 

As we sat there and I took in the conversation between everyone, multiple conversations in fact, my heart began to race and my foot would not stop twitching. What the fuck? I wasn't nervous a minute ago. A hint of nausea crept up on me. Then the light headed feeling. What the hell is going on with me? I need to get out of here. This is embarassing!

I texted Kari and told her to call me and say she needed me to come over. And she came through. I told Jake I would be right back and ran out to my car. 
Driving to Kari's house my foot would seriously not stop shaking. So badly I could barely keep it on the peddle. I felt like I drove for hours but her house was only 10 minutes away. When I finally arrived I told her about what had happened and she laughed explaining I had gotten a contact high. Her living in a high class expensive neighborhood made me wonder how she had this knowledge but I did not. But whatever, I suppose. Kari was always off doing wild stuff and I was not. She managed to calm me down and I hung out over there for a little over an hour. Her mom gave me something to eat and her Dad talked to me for a little while. Their cute little sheltie begged for pets. But Jake texted asking if I was coming back and although I felt super self conscious now, I went back.

When I got there, nearly everyone had gone to bed. Jake had pulled out the bed from the couch and had the TV and DVD player set up so that we could see it. I asked where the bathroom was so I could change clothes. 

Now here is the WIERDEST  thing I have ever seen in any house I have ever been in even to this day. I walked in and the bathroom is a pretty good size. There's a large bathtub next to the window that looks perfect for bubble baths. No shower though. Apparently that was hidden in the basement somewhere. I never did go down there. There was a nice vanity with a large sink. And the toilet was to the right. But then there were stairs. Yes, you read that correctly. Stairs. And not stairs to some random storage attic. Not stairs to a basement even. No, these were the main stairs to get to the second floor where all of the kid's bedrooms were. STAIRS. IN THE BATHROOM. No door. If I remember correctly, there was a curtain hanging. But just randomly the only way to the second floor happened to be in the main bathroom. I have never changed clothes so fast in my life and I didn't dare USE the toilet the entire time I was there. I had to pee so bad by the time I left that house in the morning that I could have filled an entire river. And to this day, I am still traumatized by this. Stairs. In. The. Bathroom.