To the Nights in the Hold of Stone (BillDip)

The Outside World on the Inside(14)

Dipper POV

Bill had led me out of my room, to the locked door across the hall. Turns out the locked room at the very top of the fearamid was Bill's office, or room maybe. It felt invasive, in a way, to be in his personal space. He's such a mysterious person suddenly the curtain was pulled back a little further and he steps just a little further into the light. The other end of the room meets in a huge fireplace, to one side a open maw grandfather-clock and a grand piano to the other a long light colored couch stands crooked in front of the corner.

He doesn't offer me to sit, nor does he sit, instead we stood in awkward silence in the center.

"So..." I started, but at the amused arch of his brow I stopped only making the 'fish out of water' feeling crawling up my skin even worse. Bill didn't let me off the hook. Smirking at my uncomfortableness, happy to just watch me stew in that unescapable golden gaze. "What do we do next?" I croaked through the inclosing thoughts.

Thoughts he kept to himself flashed in those eyes, not helping what so ever.

"You should sit down, this can be a bit of a ride." The way Bill mouthed the word ride gave me the distinct impression that he was looking forward to the possibility I could lose my lunch, if I had eaten recently. Still I couldn't think of any better options than to follow him to the couch. He waited for me to sit down first.

Taking to one side of the couch, I tried to leave a respectful amount of room on the other side for him. He, instead, sat very close to me, sharing my cushion with me on this two cushion couch. Turned a little towards one another so our knees pressed together. He was still staring. Bill's openness with his expression, with how he leaned into every conversation, no matter how teasing he sounded, or how he spoke to me, he always listened intently and honestly. He was just so fucking strange it could give me a headache, honestly it was a little surprising he hadn't already.

"Pinetree?" He hummed, his smirk falling to a much more relaxed smaller smile, "Are you still in there? I know I'm about to go in your head but that doesn't mean you have to leave first."

I breathed out a small laugh, trying to ignore how his comment shook me out of my stupor. Had I been staring? Had he noticed?

"Yeah, I'm here. I just don't know what comes next so I'm waiting for you to do something." I tried pointedly.

He laughed, holding his hand up between us. I was expecting blue flames to coat his tan skin and thin fingers but nothing happened.

"This is going to become a common thing with you isn't it?" I asked, feeling the need to joke about this increasingly awkward situation.

His brow raised, hand retreating, "I thought it already had."

"I guess so."

"For this instance I do need you to take my hand, so we can go in together so to speak." Bill was still serious, focused on the plan ahead.

My heart clenched, every bone in my body calling to stall, stall, stall.

"Pinetree," Bill started, looking more concerned now, "I need that spell, the deal demands it if there was a different way-" He trailed off waving a hand in the air, "It's just a memory, nothing more and nothing you haven't already experienced. Let's just get it over with.

"Easy for you to say." I said, letting the bitterness I felt be heard.

"Yes it is." He stated acutely, holding his hand out once more.

This time I took it with only internal complaints. White hot heat filled the back of my neck, hazy black dots creeped in from the corners of my eyes making my vision swim hard and fast. In the twists and turns my vision took Bill's face took up everything I could see, I could still feel his hand on mine and now the heat of his body as he must have come closer. I could just barely feel fingers in my hair holding my head steady as everything suddenly felt too heavy to hold up on my own. All of my senses left me in the same rush, everything succumbing to the darkness.

"Pinetree. Pinetree." Gravelly and so close, I think, or maybe he was miles away and under water. "Pinetree, come on, up and at-em." Bill was definitely close, his hand still enclosed over mine, fingers still in my hair, and now breath hot on my face.

Opening my eyes slowly I woke feeling like myself again, my head had cleared and my stomach settled. Bill and I were no longer on his couch. He was crouched over me, half holding me up off the ground, searching my face carefully. "There you go." His tone changed, to something I hadn't heard in so long, something foreign and hard to place. Without giving me any longer to adjust he pulled us both to our feet, his hand on my head moving to my shoulder and his other hand still forcefully holding mine. I'd expected my legs to feel like lead or jello but I felt fine, steady even after all that.

"You could have warned me." I miffed, going to pull my hand from his, but he didn't let go. I frowned at him.

"Where would the fun in that be? Come on, lead the way." Bill smiled, gesturing with his free hand to our surroundings.

I finally looked around, we stood in a never ending grayed out forest. Each tree was too tall to see the tops of, a door embedded in each trunk. In the space between trees stood alone doors that simply stood as if sprouted in the grass, a thin layer of smog adding to the never ending factor. "This isn't what I was expecting." I breathed, "I thought..." in the wood above each door was carved simple one or two word identifiers, nearest us were '8th birthday', 'picture day' and 'lamby lamby'. "I thought it might be the shack, like Stan's."

"Each person has a different mindscape. It normally reflects the place a person spends the most time, or feels the most comfortable leaving precious information like this." Bill's tone was even, patient, giving me a moment to take in what he said. This time when I went to take my hand from his it slid easily from his grasp. I walked around, in a slow circle, looking at each door. The ones not embedded in trees had their descriptions carved in the top of the frame. '13th birthday' stood on its own, it looked like the front door to the shack from the inside. Through the small window I could see my younger self, wearing a party hat and standing with Mabel surrounded by our Grunkles and friends, about to blow out the candles on our birthday cake.

"You may not have ever been physically in here before but you do know the layout. Where would you keep the memories of the journals? Preferably one memory with all three of them." Bill hadn't moved from his spot, simply watching me walk around. He was the only thing other than myself not in gray and his whole form seemed to be giving off a yellow glow. Standing tall with his hands resting in his pants pockets he seemed to be restraining himself from looking around. I did my best to shush the voice in the back of my head pointing out just how well those pants fit him. He was still Bill Cipher and that was becoming a weaker and weaker excuse.

"Umm." I looked around, we were definitely in the Gravity Falls forest, but deep deep in and it was all sort of the same, "I don't-" The fake tree, where the third journal was hidden, "I have a guess." Dread settled deep in my stomach. I could only think of one time I had access to flip through all three journals and it was not a good memory. It sent a shiver down my spine, something told me that was the memory awaiting me at the artificial tree.

Bill leveled me with a questioning look, undoubtedly my face had paled at the thought, "lead the way." He lifted his arm in a wide sweep to the space around us.

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Sorry this chapter is so short but I wanted to put all of the actual memory in one because it didn't read as well being split up. The next one will be much longer I swear.