Diary of a Sidechick

January 8

The weekend was fast too fast. I wasn't ready to go back to work today. Well for me it's becoming more and more dreadful especially seeing them together at work acting so in love. My jealousy kicks in and my whole work day is ruined. I did this to myself. I shouldn't have had sex with him I should leave him alone but I know I'm not going to. It's a shame I love him that much. He's always been there through my tears. Through all the pain. Through all my family drama. I love this man. He is the man I want but the way things are set up we're not together. I wonder does he love her? I'm sure he kisses her and buys her gifts. That hurts me to know but what can I do? Nothing, because I put myself in this position. It's hard to explain. Imagine when you cry the one person that always answers their phone, the one that always stays on the phone until you're happy again even if it takes one to three hours. Imagine someone who asks how was your day and actually means it and doesn't just ask to ask but a person who asks and wants to really know. Imagine feeling protected like nothing in the world can hurt you when he's around. Imagine no guy even looking at you because he'll look at them and with the look in his eyes let them know to not even think about looking at you. Someday I'll have a man like that to MYSELF.