I drag the blade along my arm, 'So tired of it all. I failed the test in class, I got a fucking B plus! I can't do anything right. I'm so useless. So dumb and tired of it all, I can't do anything right and I can never even get an A! All I do is fuck up everything. Great.' I push harder and make another long gash on my arm, the blood spilling in little dots here and there, I make many more small gashes and slowly press harder with each one. 'This isn't working and satisfying me enough. I hate myself so much, I sit here and cry like a baby and be a little wimp over everything. I hope when I get to fathers he doesn't punish me too hard, my body still stings from the last beating.' I look at the door of the bathroom stall and see a pair of feet. 'Oh god is someone in here?!' I move and look at the floor and see all the blood spilling down my arms onto the floor.
"Hello?" Someone says from the outside of the bathroom stall. "Whos in there and are you alright? I see blood on the floor!" Their voice filled with much concern and worry."
"I uh, I'm alright you don't need to worry!" I say back to them, 'god I sound so dumb and I sit here and even stuttered over what I was trying to say. I really can't do anything right, can I?'
"Are you sure? I'm going to get Aizawa Sensei!"
'Oh shit no no he- he's going to kill me if he finds out!!!' "No don't I'm alright I swear-!" I yell to them but I hear the bathroom door open and their footsteps disappear. 'Shit uh, fuck I can do this-! Oh I got it!' I pull my sleeve down and pull my pant leg down back to normal, then look at the ground and shove my blade in my pocket in my jeans. I walk out of the bathroom and wash my hands, making all the blood get off of me. Then I go into a different stall and sit down. I hear the door open and Mr. Aizawa go to the stall the student told him about. He knocks on the stall and no one answers while I walk out of the other stall. I look at him.
"Evan!" He kinda yells, kinda asks.
"Yeah?"
"Did you see anyone with anything sharp come out of this stall?" He jabs a finger in the direction of the stall I was in a bit ago, the blood on the ground seeming to calm.
"No, why's there blood on the floor though?" I ask, trying to keep the act of not knowing anything up as he looks at me. He sighs and looks at the blood on the floor from me. 'Oh god I hope he just shrugs it off and lets me go and just lets me deal with this later.'
"Evan, my office. Now." Mr. Aizawa says in a very intimidating voice, he obviously can tell it's my blood, 'oh no he's going to expel me and kick me out of the dorms and leave me with my father and-'
"Evan." He looks at me, snapping me out of it. I nod and hesitantly walk to his office as he follows, I look back at the bathroom and see a janitor go into the bathroom, to clean up the blood I guess. I walk slowly since my legs burn, also keeping my hands in my pockets and keeping my body from swaying since my arms burn when I hit them. I walk slowly, Mr. Aizawa trailing with me and walking next to me, but not telling me to walk faster or to speed up.
After a long walk
We finally reach his office and I sit down on a couch he has in here while he sits next to me, yet at a comfortable distance where it doesn't feel off.
"So, Evan. Show me what you used." He sounds a bit mad and I feel myself flinch at his tone as I hesitantly pull my blade out and hand it to him, I have more in my bag so it doesn't matter anyways. I look at him as I study his face, his expression softens and looks at me before looking at the blade and throwing it in the trash.
"Evan, can I please see the cuts?" He asks slowly in a soft voice, not wanting to worry or alarm me. I look away, 'I hate this. I don't want to be here. I don't even want to have done this, but I deserve it so it doesn't matter how I feel now. All I do is fuck up everything and just be a mistake no matter-'
YOU ARE READING
SH Comfort.
FanfictionTw: Self harm (sh), suicide attempts, mentions of abuse, abuse, swearing, and pretty much anything along those lines.