Why not? - English

13-07 Pioneer Party

>I'm with Malcolm at the police station today. He told me what Dilys was saying. I don't know what she claims she saw, but it definitely couldn't have been me. I have never had anything with Ellie and I certainly never will! How can you believe something like that?<

Sam had written me this message this morning and I was reading it for what felt like the hundredth time - and I was already fighting back tears.

I was so upset when Dilys pulled me aside yesterday just to tell me how sorry she was for me. At first I didn't know what she meant by that and was completely taken aback - until she started chatting:

"Oh, Penny. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for you," Dilys sighed in concern and put a hand on my shoulder.

"What? I can't quite follow you, Dilys," I replied hesitantly and looked at her perplexed. What was going on now? It wasn't me who have to get rid of the peas.

"Well, it's no secret how close you and Sam are now. Everyone could see that. But then this. Now it's clear to me why you've been so distant in the last few weeks," she then stated and still had that pity look on his face. I still couldn't keep up. I oscillated between surprise that so many people had noticed that Sam and I had become closer and skeptical at her suggestion.

"What exactly do you mean with that?!" I asked the skeptical point. I decided to ignore the rest for now.

"Well, Sam and Ellie," she then stated as if it was the most logical thing in the world and I gave Sam a sideways glance.

"What should happen to these two?" Had Sam told anyone that I had recently complained to him that he was letting Ellie handle too much? That would be a real treat for our number one gossiper.

"Oh, you don't know? Then you broke up before?" Dilys interjected in surprise and I had to shake my head to fight down the frustration and confusion. The woman was more bouncy than a bouncy ball.

"We weren't together at all, Dilys. But I would be grateful if you would speak plainly because we have to go back to the station slowly," I apologized for my lack of patience.

"I saw the two of them the other evening when I came back from visiting my sister Philys. It was dark and the two of them were pretty busy in front of Ellie's door, hugging each other and..." She just chatted away, but stopped immediately when she looked at me and I could imagine that I just looked like I had been run over. This hit me so deeply in my heart that it took my breath away from the pain for a moment. Could it really be? The strange feeling that I have already had when I noticed how Ellie had thawed more and more towards Sam and sometimes rushed forward in action was there again. It was just a thousand times stronger."Well it was pretty clear, especially when they went in. Of course I continued driving, but the way they both were going, Sam definitely didn't sleep at home that night. Men!" she grumbled, putting her hands on her hips to glance in Sam's direction, who was still standing with Trevor.

"And...and you definitely want to have recognized Sam?" I stammered, completely taken by surprise.

"Absolutely! Tall, stately build, auburn hair. That was pretty obvious, wasn't it?"

If someone had hit me over the head at that moment, it couldn't have felt worse and it had been so hard to keep my emotions under control while my heart felt like someone was tearing it out of my chest with their bare hands.

Even though we agreed that we just wanted to be friends, it was so difficult. I just couldn't get my feelings under control, let alone stop them. I had never before felt the way I did for Sam, and although I firmly believed that it just took a little time to get over our disappointment so that we could interact normally again and move forward, it had definitely happened too quickly for me that Sam had been able to look ahead so quickly. Or was he just consoling himself with Ellie? Whatever it was, it didn't change the fact that I felt betrayed by both of them. But on the other hand he didn't owe me anything at all. Neither of them.