Feed the fire

- CHAPTER 1 -

'So... will you finally tell me where you're taking me?'

I tilted my head to the side so I could briefly contemplate the man sitting next to me: he had reclined his passenger seat to rest his feet on the dashboard of my car - leaving on it a fine layer of dirt with his battered white sneakers. He knows I bloody hate when he does that, but getting all bothered with dumb pet peeves wouldn't get me very far.

'You'll see.'

Robert rolled his eyes and buried himself back into his novel. He was wearing his prescription glasses, a rare feature that I secretly find immensely attractive. It gives him such a hot, mischievous look... I never understood how he could avoid being seen with them at all costs. Probably something rubbish, like the fear of resembling that moaner Morrissey.

I had thought about this for a while, but as my ploy was beginning to take shape, I was getting quite nervous. I had it planned out for weeks: a relaxing weekend getaway in the isolated cabin I rented, with all of Robert to myself, away from our girlfriend's prying eyes... I was pretty sure he would enjoy what I had in mind for us, but it was still vastly different from our usual hurried, carnal shagging sessions in dark studio corners.

Robert and I never really cared about labels, and getting to know each other intimately came rather naturally. Ever since he startled me with a heated kiss on my 20th birthday, things progressed rapidly, and we both figured we would rather revel ourselves with each other's company than repress our urges to protect shaky preconceptions of masculinity.

During the recording of Pornography, Robert was hanging out with that bleach-blonde tosser from the Banshees a lot more, spending most of his free time at his flat. At times, I even felt like they were closer than we were. I was envious and suffering, and since I've never been the type of guy to communicate my feelings effectively, I took out my anger in the worst ways possible. Ever since, even if Robert and I reunited, his affectionate ways towards me were replaced with a strange, unnatural act - more often than not, fueled with absurd amounts of alcohol and dirty talk that didn't feel quite right.

From the start, I was under the impression that Robert found my hot-and-cold temper exciting: he seemingly loved being pushed around and playing the submissive role whenever I felt like it, despite his romantic type. Although, one night after having one too many, he drunkenly blurted out that he wished I took notes from him, that he'd appreciate a bit of tenderness from time to time... Being my usual self, I shouted profanities, stormed off the room and we never mentioned it again. Very foolish now that I've reflected on it.

At the time, I guess didn't see myself as the type of guy who could pull that off. Besides, I would've rather killed myself than pretend to compete with a dodgy moron that must have desperately kissed his arse to get into his pants. Needless to say, I changed my mind and took the matter into my hands once I noticed our relationship quickly becoming a shell of what it used to be... I missed the Robert that I knew - his sincere smile, his lovely touches... He could barely look at me anymore and I couldn't afford losing him again.

After a long, silent drive through the forest, a small chalet finally appeared at the end of the muddy path. We could hardly see with the pouring rain, and my windshield wipers weren't exactly what you would call efficient... Once I parked on the lot, I turned off the ignition and opened the trunk as I quickly rushed out to grab our bags. However, running was no use; Robert and I both ended up soaking wet with our coats dripping on the porch. I looked at him, fully expecting to be met with an exasperated pout, but I was relieved to see his mouth twisted in a subtle grin.

I struggled a bit with the lock. Surely, the tenant wasn't putting much care into this place as everything seemed to be very old, corroded and poorly maintained... at least from outside. Nonetheless, when we opened the door, I was immediately reassured with how cozy it looked. Exactly what we needed. I flicked open the light switch and... yeah. Nothing.