Unspoken Words

Anger and Indifference

I really need to do something because I am scared of what can happen to anybody because of me. I'm scared i could scream at someone who never did me wrong... Because of my anger.
This is the first time i succeed at hiding my emotions from everybody. Honestly, i've made a great connection with myself and we became such good friends. She's proud of me right now but also worried I might explode one day. God is my only hope and I wish everything will get better. And i wish i can pass my exams really good so that I can prove to the world that I'm not weak like the past few years.
People now are starting fights with me, and i broke some people's hearts. The problem is that they're thinking "Why the fuck is she acting like that. We meant nothing to her. She can ditche anybody anytime, without feeling a little pinch in her heart.. "
Ha.
Yeah right.
The thing is, I've got too much to think about, so i ended up not thinking at all. So let me tell you the truth: i don't care anymore, and yes, i didn't feel a pinch in my heart.
Because, see.. Let's say that i punched you once, it hurts. I punch you again, hmm, not THAT painful. I punch again and again and again, and it doesn't feel as painful as the first time. Why? Because you got used to it.
Just like my fucking heart.
I'm sure i had a pinch, but i didn't feel it that much.