Saturday afternoon at Claudia's, her husband Earl just entering the living room getting ready to sit down into his favorite chair with a can of beer in his hand to watch TV, "now that I'm finish with my household duties, I can now sit back and watch the amazing Mets beat the Braves". Soon as he sits down and relaxes in his recliner with the remote control in his right hand, the doorbell starts ringing (RANG-RANG-RANG...) loud, consistently with Earl shouting, "DABNABBIT! I wonder who the hell is that ringing on my doorbell like that!" Earl gets up going over to one of the front windows to peek out and then he shouts to his wife, Claudia in the kitchen, "CLAUDIA! It's your friend; OLD MOTORMOUTH MAY AT THE DOOR!" Claudia shouts back, "WELL LET HER IN!" Earl goes to the front door mumbling with the bell still ringing, he opens the door, "May, I should have known it's you, why don't you break my doorbell while you are at it!" May replies, "Oh hush Earl, where's Claudia, is she home, CLAUDIA!" Earl tells her, "She's in the kitchen. Please try to keep it down will you, while I enjoy my Mets beat the Atlanta Braves." While she is walking through the hallway to the kitchen, May replies, "Forget you and your game Earl." May enters the kitchen with Claudia sipping her coffee and reading the daily newspaper. May greeting, "Afternoon Claudia" and Claudia responds the same, "Well afternoon to you too May and I see you decide to stop by as usual." May tells her, "Yep! Claudia child, have I got something to tell you and it's my six-year-old grandson, but first let me take my medication." May is going inside her pocketbook, taking out her pint of Absolut Vodka, taking a quick swig, closing and placing the bottle back in her bag with Claudia trying to pretend not to notice with May continuing, "First off, you know my daughter Gwen and her kids is staying with me for a while. This morning I was in my bathroom washing up, when the baby boy asked if he could use my bathroom and I told him go ahead. Instead of going immediately, the tiny whippersnapper stood there at my doorway telling me he needed his privacy. Wanting me to get out of my own bathroom. I told him, 'Either you go now or wait 'til I am done and I'm not going anywhere 'til I am finished washing up"! So, having no choice and he really had to go bad, the boy goes to the toilet lowering his pajama pants all the way down, along with his dirty underwear, which is something I have to get on Gwen case about, sitting his, behind on my toilet. Check this out Claudia, the boy sat on the toilet whistling, which was very annoying I may add and before I question, woo child, that boy let out a stench so awful and strong, that could not only run me out of my bathroom, it could run me out of my house, oh Lord have mercy. Now I don't want to sit here and question Gwen parenting skills, but" Earl enters the kitchen, going to the fridge to get him another can of Budweiser asking, "What are you babbling about today, May?" "None of your business, nosy" May replied, with Claudia explaining, "May was telling me about her six-year-old grandson using the toilet in front her this morning whistling and letting a rotten one out." Earl looks at May with scrutiny, shaking his head side-to-side, with her looking back at him, briefly sticking her tongue out at him, he tells her, "This is what you been sitting here in my kitchen telling my wife, about your grandbaby using the john this morning in front of you, you are something else May! Say here, let me offer you this advice, the next time anybody has to take a crap, leave the room and close the door, it's really that simple!" May replies, "Well smarty pants, the next time Joshua has to make boo-boo, I'll send his behind over here to use your bathroom." Earl tells her, "Go right ahead May, send the boy over, as a matter of fact send anyone of your grandchildren over, unlike you, they don't have to put up with me being in the bathroom with them, while they are using. May, you are just too much, I thought an old lady like you could use company and when you have some, you're still complaining.' Earl leaving the kitchen with his cold brew in his hand returning to his game on TV, while May complains, "Earl thinks he is so smart." "Yep, and that is why I love him" replies Claudia, as she continues, "you have to excuse me May, I'm going to the bathroom. (Pausing) You know, I going to go like Joshua and whistle, maybe that will help me go easily!" Claudia enters the bathroom laughing, closing the door behind her, with May still at the table, looking at the newspaper, laughing and getting ready to take another swig of her medication.
