accidental wedding

8

Author :

Days where passing by with them busy in their life . Sejal couldn't get the job , and now she was sitting at home trying to look out for jobs . The main concern behind her job was to get more qualified degrees by paying her own fees , but it turns out she's in a loop where now she's just trying to find a job having no aim. Fir further studies , her father cannot afford as he is already retired and she even has a small sister to look behind

Where as on the other hand adhyaan was living his life that was home to office , attending meetings and that's it . Looks like he's living like before and forgetting about the promise he made to someone.

Sejal :

Looks like I'm just surviving my life and not living , just trying to find a job with good salary to live a basic life . But in between all these , I never forgot about my marriage nor did I forget him , everyday I think about him and question my existence in this marriage.

Thinking of what to do , because for me this is not a joke it's not fun for me . I know what he had told me before going but it feels like he's doing exact opposite of his words . For how long I was supposed to wear the mangalsutra and hide the vermillion , it looks like I am doing some crime at the same time if I don't do it feels the same way , what am I supposed to do ? I think there is no hope of us in this marriage.

He just told me he would  come back, but it would be way better if he would have told me that day itself that he doesn't want to continue this marriage instead of giving me false hopes and not showing for like what one year?

For how long am I supposed to live with this guilt of hiding the truth from my family , it feels so suffocating. I feel I'm betraying everyone ,I know what is done it is done , but isn't hiding from everyone is wrong too ?

Soon I'll be twenty four, I'm not having any job nor do I study just sitting at home and doing what crying on my fate and waiting for him ? Why did he give me hopes why? giving someone hopes is worst than saying no . If he would have said me no I would accept it , because it was just starting no emotional attachment but now I'm mentally and emotionally drained . I'm more bound in this marriage than before emotionally, mentally by everything I'm bound. Everyday I wait   in his hopes , I explain myself that don't wait for him he's not going to come but what should I do ? I still wait .

People get attached to even animals , he's my husband or I feel like . I can't control my emotions over him , he's my husband , he gave me hopes.

I was thinking all these while gazing the sky at night while my tears were flowing silently and I slowly spoke against myself

"Kyu haq jataya mujhpe ki mein uski biwi hu ,par use kya farq parta hoga Mann mein aaya bol Diya biwi ,kabhi socha hai saamne wala insaan kitna emotionally attach ho jata hai?Kyu Kiya esa? Fir bhi mein abhi bhi pagalo ki tarah intezar karti hu "

After crying and sitting in the balcony for more than one hour , I came inside my room and washed my face and sat to check mails , whether I was offered any job or not.

Luckily I saw one mail , where I got selected for the role of receptionist in a company . I was happy because atleast I got the job , I can earn better than sitting at home and crying over my fate.

After a while I shut down the laptop and started looking for some clothes in my cupboard for Monday or else I have to buy , when my eyes landed on the coat which he gave me . Within few seconds , everything flashed infront of me and involuntarily I took out the coat and traced it with my fingers thinking of him . I couldn't control and again hugged the coat to my chest and started crying .

                           ******

The next morning , I woke up around seven I was still in my bed feeling lazy to get off the bed . But in the mean time my mom knocked and came inside my room .

She was searching something in my room when I called her out and she came and sat on the bed beside me

I told her excitedly " mom , I got the job."

She too was happy after listening the news and said " congratulations, I knew you could do "

And then we were chatting for sometime sitting over there itself when my mom suddenly asked me not being sure , she said unsure

" uh , which chain you're wearing , I'm not able to remember when did we get this?"

And I paled out and said " uh mom this one, I got it for myself ". But before I could continue further she already went ahead to look at the chain and I knew she is not going to belive me anymore because before I could stop her from touching it , she already took hold of it and started staring at it not believing that it was mangalsutra.

She asked me directly without beating around the bushes " what's this?"

I was silent

She repeated in a loud voice " Sejal , I asked you something. What is this?"

I was just looking down controlling my tears, when abruptly my mom pulled my hand and made me go downstairs with her. She called dad , and then he came and she told him about this

He came infront of me , and said in the most dangerous voice " what is this?"

I had no answers, when I didn't reply for almost two minutes I didn't knew when but I was slapped hard across my face . By this time I was crying hard not knowing what to say, I wasn't even able to form words.

My mom asked " when did you do , with whom did you do ? " In the most hateful voice as if feeling betrayed.

I said "mom" while crying

Suddenly my mom came infront of me and said " what else did you do Sejal, what else? There must be vermillion also isn't it? " And she started removing my partition and she gave a hateful look towards me after seeing the vermillion

She was almost hyper, angry and was crying at the same time and told " what not I did Sejal, why did you do this . He was above us that you did against us ? Did you guys even slept or what?".

I replied while hicupping "mom, please don't say this way. "

My dad spoke in the most cold voice " what are you even doing here? Get out of my house "

I said " please, once listen. He just did to save me that day nothing else , and you only told us marriage isn't joke "

But they both weren't willing to believe, how would they even because I hid it for this long time instead of telling at that instant. No body's at fault to be honest.

While my dad grabbed my hand and threw me out of the house while I was just begging them not to and belive in me.

While he said " never show your face to me."

I lost everything at this moment, I don't know what to do  where am I supposed to go my parents? They don't want to believe me. My husband? He doesn't even know where I'm . Why adhyaan why? I just wiped my tears and started walking aimlessly.