Monday 1st September
"Fin come on!" I shout up the stairs at 8:00
"Two more minutes" he shouts back
I go up the stairs and into his room
"Finley you're gonna be late! Come on sweetie" I say to him, opening his curtains
I pull off his duvet and carry him downstairs
"No mummy!" He says laughing
"Come on, what do you want for breakfast?" I ask him, putting him on a chair in the kitchen
"Umm... Coco pops!" He says
"Okay, coming right up" I say giggling
I make him a bowl of coco pops and our some milk in
"Here you are" I say as I put is bowl down
"Thanks" he says eating them up
"You've got awesome uniform!" I say picking it up
It's a red jumper and a white Tshirt. I think there's supposed to be black trousers too, but it didn't say on the website so?
"What about trousers?!" He says horrified
"You can wear whatever trousers you want, and shoes" I say laughing
"Can I wear my green shorts?" He asks
"Yeah, you'll be too warm in trousers" I say
It's September, but still really warm!
"Yay!" He says and runs upstairs with his uniform, and I follow him
"Fin, hurry up though okay?" I say
"Okay!" He shouts, he seems so much happier than last night
"You excited now?" I ask him
"A little bit" he says grinning
"You're gonna love it, I know" I say, then go into Tegan's room
She's still sleeping, she woke up in the night thinking it was the morning so she came into my room! She's probably tired. I pick her up gently and take her downstairs.
"Ready Fin?" I ask him as he comes downstairs
I give him his bag, it's his lunch in it and we go in the car. I put Tegan in her seat then buckle Finley up, then we're off!
When we get to the school, there are lots of parents I knew, from Fins playgroup, and he'd know a lot of the kids
"Finley look, there's your friends from playgroup!" I say as we walk into the yard
"Brooke hi!" A mother says, Lia.
She's the same age as me, and has a little boy Sam.
"Hey Lia!" I say walking over to her
"Hi Finley!" Sam says waving
"Hi Sam" Finley says back
"He wouldn't go in, he wanted to wait for someone he knew!" She says laughing
"Fin, are you gonna go into school with Sam?" I ask him and he nods, "okay then bye sweetie, I'll pick you up later okay?"
"Okay bye!" He gives me a big hug then runs off with Sam.
That went a lot better than expected!
When me and Tegan are back in the car, she wakes up.
"Where are we mummy?" She asks, wiping her eyes
"We just took Finley to school!" I say, "you're going to auntie Eva's now"
"Yay auntie Eva!" She says happily
When I get to Eva's house, which is not far from mine, she's waiting at the door
"BROOKE!" She shouts and runs up and hugs me and Tegan, "TEEGS!"
"Auntie Eva!!" Tegan shouts
I look at my phone "The shop has to be open in ten minutes! See you later! Love you!" I yell
"BYE LOVE YOU TOO!" Eva yells
Our house is directly behind the shop. You can get to the shop through the garden. I quickly run up and open the doors. No one comes in for a while, so I sit there behind the counter on my phone. I look at the last message from Noah, which I've never deleted
Just going to get some roses for you, because you're amazing xxxx
And I just break down. I can't help myself. I just cry and cry. I miss him so much. It's been two years, but I can't get over it. I try to stop and be brave, but I can't.
"Hey are you okay?" someone asks me
"Y-yeah, I'm f-fine" I say
"You don't look fine" he says
"I k-know, I'm not, b-but don't w-worry about it" I say looking up
"But I am worrying. You have no idea who I am, but if you need to tell someone, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone, pinky promise" he says, holding out his pinky
"It- it's just my husband died in a car crash two years ago. I know it was ages ago, but everything reminds me off him. The colour of these walls. My sons name. Roses. Everything. I can't get over it. I miss him so much, but the only person who cares is my bestfriend. My kids don't even remember him, my parents are all the way in America, my home town. My brother never even liked him. His parents live halfway across the country. My other friends don't like to mention him because it'll set me off, which I'm happy they do but I don't know. I just wish I still had him with me. I just miss him so much" I manage to blurt out, which set me off even more
"Shhhh calm down. You'll be okay. I know you miss him, but you still have him with you in your kids. I know it's hard, but you have to be brave. You'll get through this. You're strong enough. It doesn't matter if you cry about it, crying I'd the natural response to pain. As long as you tell yourself that you can do this" he says, and it helps.
I'm brave enough. I'm strong enough. I can do this.
"Th-thank you" I say hugging him. I don't even know who he is, but it feels like I've known him forever
"It's okay. Now wipe your tears away, you've had a cry. Now you can be brave" he says and wipes away my tears
"I'm Brooke, I own this shop" I say
"I'm Louis. Louis Tomlinson. I'm in a world famous boyband" he says
