The Life And Adventures of Ivyshadow

Chapter 11 - Moon 7

Ivypaw twitched her ears nervously, Just do it, Ivypaw.

She was watching Windfur lie in the sun, the old tom's eyes almost closed. You have to talk to someone about this, She told herself. She had decided the best person to ask for advice was Windfur. She had considered Blackstripe, Snowpaw, or even Winterpaw, but she didn't quite feel comfortable enough with any of them to share her feelings for Birchpaw. She took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"Erm, Windfur? Would you like to go on a walk?" Ivypaw asked nervously, feeling like a guilty kit about to reveal something bad she'd done.

Windfur looked up, and his eyes filled with understanding when he saw her face, "Yes, of course."

Ivypaw felt relief wash over her. I made the right decision, she thought, thankfully.

They padded out of the camp side by side, Ivypaw stopping to tell Blackstripe where she was going. Blackstripe had nodded, looking pleased that she was respecting her Elders.

"Lovely weather today," Windfur commented.

Ivypaw looked up at the warm sun dappling through the leaves, "Yeah, it is. I'm excited for summer."

"You've never seen summer, have you?" Windfur asked, sounding slightly amused, "Spring is more beautiful, trust me."

Ivypaw took a moment to appreciate her surroundings. The tall oak trees lined with green moss, the acorn shells scattered across the soft dirt floor. Flowers peaked out from behind shrubs and fallen logs, their petals barely open to reveal the bright color inside. It was beautiful.

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Windfur's voice was gentle, as if prodding open one of those flowers.

Ivypaw's ears turned pink, feeling embarrassed, "We'll, I... it's a tom." The words spilled out clumsily.

Windfur nodded, his ears perked. he didn't interrupt as she continued.

"But the thing is.. well, it's Birchpaw. I keep thinking about him, and I know I shouldn't. He's a Medicine Cat! Is love more important than the code? Am I even in love? Does he like me? I don't want to be kicked out, and I don't want my future kits to experience what I did." Ivypaw finished in a breath.

Windfur watched a leaf fall to the floor, his eyes thoughtful. "Well," he said slowly, as if considering every word, "You are young, Ivypaw. The feelings you're feeling right now are real to you and very important. But, as you grow, feelings will change and grow," he paused, "whether you let them grow is, more or less, your choice."

Ivypaw considered his words. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that right now, you like Birchpaw. He's handsome, and your friend. But you don't love him," his eyes turned serious, "however, those feelings can turn into love. You need to make a decision about what is more important to you, your Clan, or a future life you could have with Birchpaw."

Ivypaw stared at him, taken aback. A decision? Now? She thought of Birchpaw, and allowed herself to picture a life with him. Little kits with his coloring, him helping care for their cuts and bruises while she hunted. Sarcastic bouts between them, sleeping next to each other every night. They would be each other's everything.

But then she thought of her childhood. She was an outcast, and trauma from the bullying was going to stay with her the rest of her life. The more Ivypaw grew, the more resentment she felt towards her mother for making the same choice Ivypaw was dangling on the edge of now.

"I choose my clan," Ivypaw said. Her words felt steady and sure.

When she looked over at Windfur, she was surprised to see genuine respect in his gaze, as if he was no longer seeing her as the squeaky little kit anymore. "You are a brave cat, Ivypaw. The Clan of Tall Trees is lucky to have you."