𝑾𝑯𝑰𝑻𝑬 𝑮𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 ( random. )

the incorrect-est of quotations

i'm bored.

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London, calling Kenny: Hey, are you busy right now?
Kenny: A little bit, why?
London: Oh! No worries. Nothing important!
*Five Hours Later*
Kenny: You were in jail?! Why didn't you tell me?!
London: You were busy!

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London: Butters, you were supposed to go to sleep hours ago.
Butters: Amputating Mike Wazowski's legs would be the same as beheading him-
London: sHUT UP-

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London, talking to Narrator: Yeah. We're best friends. But I'd fuck you if you asked.
Narrator: What?!
Firkle, without looking up from his book: She said she'd fuck you if you asked.

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Kenny: Do you like cats?
London: Yeah.
Kenny: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

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Narrator: When I first met you, I thought you were annoying.
Butters:
Butters: And?
Narrator: And you are.

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Narrator: What's this?
Kenny: It's my to-do list.
Narrator: Oh! That's great. I'm glad you're being more organiz-
Narrator: Kenny, this just says "London".

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Narrator: Yesterday I overheard Butters saying "Are you sure this is a good idea?" and Dougie replying "Trust me." and I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

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Narrator: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
Butters: Mine juust says "Butters, no."
Narrator: And I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

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London: When have I ever done something rash or irresponsible?
Narrator: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

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Narrator: So when are we gonna tell him?
London: Just give him a minute.
Kenny: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*

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Narrator: They say boys and girls can never be just friends. It's always sexual.
London: *scoffs* That's dumb. Look at me and Kenny. There's nothing sexual between us.
Narrator:
Kenny:

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London: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?
Firkle: Ooh, yes, please.
Michael, with his laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug.
London: It's not a bug though...
Michael: ...
London: ...
Michael: Well, I still don't want to see.
Henrietta, realizing: Please don't throw-
London: Wheeee! *throws a stick of butter*

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London: I can't believe you assassinated Stan!
Kenny: Well, 'assassinated' implies it was politically motivated. I killed him because he was a dick, so technically I murdered him.
London: That's not better!