the day after tomorrow

anyway don't be a stranger(intermission2)

(I get really "deep" and philosophical later in this chapter, just so yall know it's really bad 😭)

Being with Stan was great. But also completely awful. Me and Stan joined the Table Top Gaming Club(after he coaxed me into it), and we had a tiny bit of fun the first few days. I named my character Annabel Lee, since I was going through a bit of an "emo" phase back then. I was a writer back in those days. I wrote this stupid fucking Alice in Wonderland knockoff called "Down the Rabbit Hole" (a/n-I actually wrote that, and yes it does no longer exist), and my parents found out. They installed way too many parental controls on my phone, and due to this, they were able to read it just through their phones. It was really scary. Back to the point. Annabel Lee. That was my DND characters name. I never ended up playing DND, but I made the character. She was a woodland elf. Very cool. A few days later, Stan sent me an email reciting one of the Edgar Allen Poe lines back to me. I was stupid, of course, and instead of laughing at that like a normal person, I decided to email him the next lines of the poem. And so "our thing" started. It lasted all through middle school, even while we were dating(we were on and off throughout high school).

Let's get into how we got together. I was a choir kid. I did theatre too, but choir was always the thing I loved. Bebe called me a nerd, of course, but I didn't care. I loved singing. In February of my seventh grade year, a guy in choir came up to me(he was one of Stan's friends), and whispered to me that "Stan looovees you Wendy". I was shocked. I went to the bathroom, and I was on the verge of screaming. Happy screams. I was kicking my feet and mumbling these little giggles I'm sure everyone else could hear, but I didn't care. Stan liked me. At this point, me and Stan had already kind of stopped TTGC, but we still emailed. We had gone through not one, not two, not three, not four, but five of these stupid little poems. The Raven, Annabel Lee, etc. I had also gotten his phone number at some point, and we texted sometimes. It was fun. I felt safe with him. We hadn't actually started dating, and we also hadn't actually confessed to each other.

We confessed to each other over the summer. I knew he liked me, but I don't know if he knew I "liked" him. We were texting, just some light chitchat, when he texted me, "Sorry, Kenny's screaming at me because he thinks I like you." I thought it was a bit out of the blue, but I was also nervous. Why would he say that? I responded with an emoji or something, and we continued. Until he hit me with the "Hey, uh, do y it have a crush on anyone?" I said maybe, as to *clearly* avoid suspicion. I could hear his chuckle through the screen. I asked him if he had a crush on anyone, and he said he had only ever had a crush on two people. One, an old classmate, but the second one he refused to tell me. I was sure he was talking about me, so I continued to nag him. I was screaming and kicking my feet and giggling throughout the whole ordeal. Eventually, we both gave in. I stalled for a bit first, spewing shit about "I can't tell you", or the worse, "It's someone you know VERY well". It was truly painful. But we got through, and we started "talking".

Our talking phase wasn't really a talking phase. We texted every few weeks, and we did our little poem thing. It was cute. All of my friends, and I'm sure his friends, were screaming and fangirling over us, and we were both super embarrassed. Then I told him. It was scary, I suppose. I texted him the link to "We Fell in Love in October," and he just responded with a heart. "Uh, I don't really know how to say this, but uh, I think we should date?? Please take the hint. I can't keep doing this anymore." There. I had sent it. He responded with another heart but then said yes-I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe I had been able to finally get my first boyfriend. It was sweet, our little puppy love. October 4th. My new favorite day(mean girls, duh).

January. We were at my (now ex) friend's birthday party. It was cold, and I felt like my lashes were almost frozen, along with my feet. Me and Stan were kind of bored, and everyone else somewhere. It was just us, snuggled under a blanket. I thought the plaid matched his eyes. He didn't agree. We were watching Creepypastas, you know, the ones with the drawing in the backgrounds. I could turn my head, and he would be there. Looking at me, staring with his pretty eyes, and lips, and teeth, and nose. Everything about the scene was perfect. Everything about us was perfect. We eventually went inside to change, so we could go swimming. The water was cold enough to basically freeze, and we were all in the hot tub. I was completely delirious, like usual for the time, and I had lost it. I needed something to ground me, so of course, I jumped into the pool. I was shivering. Stan joined me. We were laughing and it was just us two in the whole wide world. My lips were blue, his were too, and I'm sure they would've fit perfectly together, but I was to scared. Everyone was yelling at us to get out of the water, but we didn't care. Our noses almost touched. I could see his breath in front of my eyes, and I would give anything to go back then. Back before he showed his true colors.