It was all started when I was eight years old, after I got beaten up by own family. Everything started to become one with the darkness.
I laid down on my bed, it wasn't comfy anymore as I felt pain in my flesh and soul. The ceiling that once I never cared about starting to feel like my feelings that day.
It looked so comfortable to stare at. I never knew that ceiling could comfort me just by staring at it. I felt my body became numb and my eyes became drain. I wanted to cry but I felt empty, I'm not be able to cry anymore.
I felt like I wanted to die, as a young child. I'm still undeveloped, I couldn't think of any other suicide methods other than starving myself. I couldn't remember what I have feelings other than wanting to die that day.
So I started to lock myself in my room in attempt to starve myself. I was just laying down on my bed which was used to be comfy before I turned eight. I can't remember what happiness felt like, I can't remember when the last time younger me smiled in such innocent manner.
I have no memory.
It was all blank.
I closed my eyes, hoping for my death to come. My thoughts are filled with my death.
Around two o'clock in the morning, I woke up. Feeling empty. I had no hope in living, I had no reasons to live. I wanted to die so bad, I kept starving myself.
My stomach started to feel burn, I felt light-headed. I smiled faintly, I thought that this is my last moment of living. I didn't mind how my death will look like as I never once thought about living. However, I was dumb enough to think that starving myself would kill myself effectively.
I woke up in the morning, it was Monday. I didn't want to go to school. It drain my energy. The first thing I thought of school is that it is a prison for children. Children does no sin in the world yet why do they have to be treated worst? Adults are once teenagers. Teenagers once are children. Everyone used to be children of lights. Full of innocence and playfulness.
"Young children are lights and those teenagers who rebel once are spiritual lights yet corrupted by the world."
It is what I thought in the first thing, I stared at the ceiling for a long time. I don't want to go school and drain my energy as I had no more energy as well as I had no hopes left in me.
I sat up from my bed slowly, I wanted to stood up but my body felt weak due to starvation. I fell back into my bed, my body shrunk slightly into the bed, I sighed. I had no thoughts, hopes, the will to live and something to entertain me. Something to distract me from this empty feelings in my soul.
I closed my eyes, there was nothing to do in this exact empty life of mine. There is no friends to play with, my sisters only treat me as if I am their maid. I have nothing, I gave up on and decided to continue this by moving like a jellyfish.
YOU ARE READING
The Corrupted One
General FictionA young child who was once a child of light. Who does no wrong. Who does no sin. Who does no rebellion. Yet corrupted by the world.