Meant to be

Sleepy love

Satoru

What the hell.seriously,what the hell

Do I just have to act like my so called little "crush" and classmate didn't just kiss me?!on the lips?!

And why me out of everyone here?so many other girls and boys here to choose from,but me?

Whatever,it was just a kiss,it didn't mean anything

That just might be why it stinged a bit,but I was just gonna gaslight myself into thinking I wasn't disappointed that it meant nothing.

I can't get my hopes up,or get attached too easily,yea sure I almost died twice and my super hot TAKEN classmate just so happened to save me from death,twice,but it didn't mean anything,anyone else would've done that.

And he's taken anyway,I don't want to disrespect his relationship with this so called crush of mine,and it's not like things could work between us,our lives are polar opposites,extremely so,and looks aside,he's a walking talking red flag,even the idea of dating him seems horrifying.

But recently he feels,different,he feels nicer,it feels like he's changed,why is that?

Is he just now nice to be because he feels bad that I've almost faced death twice in the span of 3 days?i can't tell.

Just,scratch him out of your mind satoru,that boy is nothing but trouble,you just need to focus on school,studies,and work.that's it,school studies and work,a flimsy little crush is only gonna get in the way.

Well...easier said then done,because my cheeks felt like it was on fire,my face burning hot,thankful for the fire infront of us that I can blame this burning red Color on my face.

It all happened so quickly,one day the mere
sight of him gave me the ick,and now here I am sitting by the fire place,knuckles turning a pale white from how aggressively I'm gripping the cloth of my somewhat oversized shirt,heart beating so fast and loud it felt like I could hear my heartbeat,breathing had became difficult,the saliva now thick making it difficult to swallow,I didn't even dare looking anywhere near Sugurus direction or gaze,cause it felt like he was punching holes into me with that piercing gaze of his,cause I knew he was staring at me.

Taking slow breaths,calming myself down best I can because it seemed like I had forgotten that I was still by the fire place,with people looking at me like I'm an exotic creature on a museum display for sight seeing.

It's fine.collect yourself satoru.

I take deep but slow breaths,not wanting to make it obvious how desperate I was for some oxygen in my lungs after suguru just stole the one I already had.

Surprisingly no one pestered suguru to tell who he actually kissed,no one even brings it up,which is partly weird,but I don't mind in the slightest.

Eventually,after how many ever rounds my truth or dare,everyone starts to get more tired,it was almost midnight,so everyone eventually goes back to their tents,me and suguru included,suguru doesn't say a word to me in the tent,and I don't either,there's nothing to speak about,nothing for now at least...

So we go to sleep,or so I try to,it didn't take long for suguru to fall asleep,he was probably tired.

And me myself I'm not one to have trouble sleeping,or falling asleep,so it was strange nonetheless...

It felt like almost an hour had passed by,I went on my phone after the first failed 20 minutes of trying to sleep,scrolling through social media or whatever can peak my interest for the time being.

Then I feel it,something warm pressing on the entirety of my back,something warm yet hard and firm,hot breath followed by it barely a few seconds later on the nape of my neck.

I froze.i entirely.froze.

His breathing was faint,a faint snore leaving his lips every minute or so,he was still asleep.

My phone slowly slid off from my hand,falling besides my pillow,the light of the screen going off after a few seconds.

I exhale a huge breath,a breath I didn't know I was holding in until I let it out.

Warm arms and hands slide around my stomach,pulling me closer then I'd like,pulling me so impossibly close it felt like I was gonna become one with his chest,one of his legs between mine in a cuddle like position.

He was so.close.

It almost felt like I was gonna pass out,well that would solve my not being able to sleep problem,not in the way I was expecting though.

I can't tell when or how I fell asleep,but I did,and by the time I had woken up suguru was long gone,which I somewhat minded,at least I didn't wake up first,I'll just act like I never knew nor noticed how he was basically squeezing my chest in his sleep like a baby.

I'll just,lay here in bed and try processing everything that has happened in the span of 3 days.