I'm 4 years younger than my older sibling but I look A LOT like them, some have even asked if we were twins.
Growing up as the "shy younger sibling" of a more extroverted older sibling it was obvious who'd get more "attention" and having gone to the same school I was always known as X's younger sibling, no-one really knew my name, they only knew who I was because of our faces being the same, made me feel as if I had no identity and whatever we did, they would always be better than me, be it academically, artsy or whatever which in turn, with my horrible self-esteem, made me feel even worse, even my classmates preferred them over me, to them I was just an easy target and it took me a couple of years to finally stand up for myself.
Take note that I KNOW that it's not their fault but when the people around you make fun, call you a photocopy (yes, that was my nickname for a long time), being compared to and actually saying that you'd always be in their shadow, known as X n°2, wasn't really good for my mental health. It took 2 years AFTER they graduated to be completely free from those labels and have my own name known (no, I wasn't popular so don't take it that way 👀✝️) it's also when I started to develop as a person no longer under prying eyes and started to find my kind of people.
But by experiencing all of that, I, myself, am the one doing the comparing now in the present, all of those voices saying that I'll never be good enough and that whatever I do they'll always do it better so I shouldn't even bother anymore and it honestly makes me feel disgusted with myself....wish I didn't think like that but it's harder than it looks.
What I mean by all this is that, one should be careful with what they say, especially if they are kids still developing and finding out what they like or who they are because those words may mean nothing to some but to others, it'll just be another to the collection in the back of their minds to haunt them.
YOU ARE READING
One day....(venting)
Random⚠Contains some mature topics such as: - mental disorder - passive suicide This will be kind of a vent journal or something like that, I don't know what I'm doing 90% of the time. It might resonate with you or it might not, you're not alone. There ma...
