Boys & Blades

3: A spark

"Shit, Nami, what's up?" He said, helping me up. His smile beamed as he pulled me in for a hug.

"Er, I'm good, Miles, how've you been?" I replied, tugging my sleeves down slightly. His eyes darted down quickly, noticing, then darting right back up, pretending to have been looking at something else.

"I've been doing pretty good myself! Hey, there's a party tonight at my house, you should come. It would give you a chance to reconnect with some old friends, we can totally get shitfaced"

"On a Monday night, seriously?" I scoffed, then chuckled a little at him.

"Hell yeah! I think we both know we don't got shit to lose anyway." My heart hurt a little at that statement, but it was true. Both of our lives sucked, and I should let loose and have a little fun for once.

"..Okay. Text me the address if you still have my number" I said, grinning slightly.

"There's the Nami I know!" He cheered as he began to walk off. I spun around, watching him walk away, a smile growing on my face.

Once school was out for the day, I waited for my mom to arrive at the school and give me a ride back. Once she pulled in I tossed my stuff on the car floor and hopped in.

"Namiko, we should talk," my mom said seriously as she pulled out of the lot.

"About what? Everything's fine. It's all normal. I'm fine, you're fine, Jessie's fine, we're all a fine family doing perfectly fine things." 

My mother sighed, gripping two fingers on her nose's bridge, frustrated. I prepared to apologize like usual, cause everything was my fault now.

"Please talk to me Namiko. You're always tucked away in your room now, I miss talking to you," my mother said sadly, gripping my arm a little and I winced, sucking in a breath through my teeth.

At this moment for some reason, I felt safe and comfortable, like I had the mom I used to when I was 4. The one who smiled and laughed and got Ben and Jerry's with me after school and watched 'Madea's Family Reunion' with me for the 12th time. The mom I had needed all my life, not just temporarily.

"I'm sorry, I just don't like the way Jessie treats you," I said, watching my mom's back stiffen and her expression grow stone-faced, "It's like... it's like he took your spark away. Like he took my mom away from me."

For once, I had a sliver of hope that my words would finally make her do something, but my hope was quickly destroyed as soon as she opened her mouth.

"Nami, I love you, I really do, but I love Jessie also, and that's never going to change. I'm sorry if you don't like him, but you guys will have to learn to get along."

I felt my heart shatter more than it already was, and my mom retracted her hand from my arm, placing it on the steering wheel and switching the channel, trying to fill the silence. No matter how hard she tried though, no amount of noise could distract me from those words. I just wished she would put me, her kid, at the top of her priority list, rather than Jessie.

Once we got home, I made up an excuse that I had homework so I could get ready for the party. It started at 8 PM so I still had 4 hours. 

Once the clock reached 6:30 PM, I turned on some music and began getting ready, hoping maybe this party could help fill the aching void in my stomach. I put on thick mascara and curled my lashes, did a smoky eyeshadow look, and put on a black, brown, and gray striped mini sweater dress with long sleeves.

By the time I was finished with my makeup, outfit, and hair, it was 8:00 exactly and I snuck out my window, walking to a nearby park to get a ride from Miles. When we reached his house, there was loud music blasting from every little crack of the house. We entered and blue, purple, and green lights beamed across the house, filling up every room with color. I could barely hear my thoughts over the music, but my eyes quickly landed on the beverage table, an arrangement of vodka, tequila, and whiskey sitting there as if it were waiting for me.