Last Christmas

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

 My hands slide down the red satin dress that clings to my body, tightly around my waist, and flows down to my knees. Bunched cap sleeves hang off my shoulders, showing off the gold necklace that hangs on the bow of my collarbone. The dress is low on my chest, giving the illusion of my body flowing into an hourglass-like shape. The dress clings to my curves perfectly.

I finish the look by combing through my half-wet curls, running the mouse through the ends to define my hair just a bit more. I've always taken precious time with my hair. It is the one feature my mother and I share, while the rest was given by my father. My hair is a warm honey brown, flowing down to the middle of my back. My mother has always taken credit for the length of my hair, battling every hairdresser about what a "trim" really meant.

A pair of golden eyes stare back at me. My father's eyes were bright green, while mine led more to the ugliest parts of green; yellows and olive greens mashed into one. My nose slopes down to my now faintly red lips, a thin gloss spread onto the fairly big pout. Freckles paint a trail down the sides of my nose, trailing down and leaving small beauty marks beneath my lips and below my eyes. Years of braces stare back at me as I smile, preparing myself for the evening one last time.

I hear my mother call my name, I slick back the wrinkles on my dress once more and slip on the small heeled ballet flats my mother left on my bed. I pull back the hanging strands from my falling layers with a silky black bow. My curls are mostly dry now, making the process easier than it would have been.

The family huddles together into a zig-zag-like formation while my aunt sets up the camera stand to take the annual picture. Tyler clings close to me as always, while Bailey is on the other side of me dressed in an outfit similar to mine but with a looser fit.

We eventually find our way outside, huddled with our heavy coats and thick gloves. Ezra's house is only a few houses down, it's the largest house on the block. It consists of everything our house has but with an extra story and many extra rooms. As well as the few acres behind their house, mostly consisting of Christmas trees that make up his father's business. At least as I remember it, the backyard consists of a maze of Christmas trees up and down the field, snaking to the front where a gate stands, leading the way out the front and to where their stand sits on the corner. It's like a lemonade stand but for Christmas trees. At least that's what Ezra used to tell me.

When we finally reach the front door of the Smith's home, a large crowd of people stand on the porch, half greeting each other and half greeting us. Their smiles are as bright as the Christmas lights that decorate their home. Wild flashing reds and greens, as well as calmer strings of silver and gold. The inside is decorated head to toe with the same color scheme. A large tree sits in the corner of the living room, decorated in the theme of red and gold, wrapped with shimmering garlands and shiny beads. The tree in the room across from it, which is usually Mr. Smith's office, has a tree speckled with silver and green, this one more florally based than the last.

People chat down every hall, leaning on every wall, and sitting in every chair. Mrs. and Mr. Smith stand in the middle of the kitchen, sipping on a large glass of wine while the party goes on around them. They laugh in one another's company, engulfed in each other's own world while reality continues to spin around them. I've always been inspired by the way they look at each other. Mr. Smith looks over to a man calling him over and waving his wife goodbye. She smiles, sinking in the feeling of her husband's gaze as if they are teenagers all over again.

I glance over at the wine glasses and serve-yourself wine sitting at the door. Engaging in their romance has reminded me too much of the one I never even had. Cameron never looked at me like that. Never once made me feel the way Mrs. Smith looks like she feels right now.