𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐇

𝟎𝟐 || 𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊

𝐈'𝐦 𝐒𝐨 𝐒𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

Mornings aren't my thing.

I feel so disoriented and solemn as usual,but Elliot doesn't notice. Even if he does,he will not bother to ask me what's wrong. This is how it is. Why did he agree to in sickness and I health when he can't even come close to me whenever I'm sick?

Elliot goes over to the table and looks at some files while I blow my hot cocoa. “I thought you'd take the day off."

He doesn't spare me a glance.“The firm is in a hard position right now. How could you suggest something like that?"

I shrug.

“You work a lot." Is all I can say.

Ever since we got married,it's always work after work. He married his firm before me, hence the reason why it always comes first.

Elliot and I met at work and we clicked. We both had passion for law,and then I thought he was the right guy. Very good looking,too charming,decent finances and zero icks.

But I've come to realize that he was just putting on a facade. A lot of things changed every since we got married.

Elliot gives me a pointed look. “The work puts food on our table and gets you all the designer bags you want."

“I could've gotten them myself if you had let me work."

Two years into our marriage, Elliot brought up an insane demand that I stopped working at the law firm. When I asked him why, he gave a very absurd reason.

‘I don't want my friends at the law firm to ogle at my wife'

We almost got divorced because of it. Not wanting to become a trophy wife,I did what was best. I stood my ground and it caused a major fight between us for months,but we reconciled and he still didn't let me work.

Elliot runs a hand through his hair in utter frustration. “I give you everything you want

“Everything except time and affection. I'm tired of being neglected, Elliot. It's always your damn work all the fucking time!"

“I took a day off yesterday. Wasn't that enough for you?" He snarls.

I have the sudden urge to fist my hair,the hot cocoa doesn't compare to the hot rage outweighing my rational mind. “You took a day off because it was your birthday."

“That's not-

“Why do you have to make everything about yourself?"

“I'm tired ok. I'm so fucking tired of you always going on and on about how I'm not putting any effort. I'm so sick of it."

“And you think I'm not sick of it?" I choke out a sob, inching closer to him. “When was the last time you took me on a date, Elliot?"

He's speechless. Brows furrowed in confusion. “Look-

Jabbing at his chest,I cry out. “Months, years? Ask me what I want. When I'm quiet,ask me the reason for my silence. When I cry,help me wipe my tears. We agreed on this Elliot. For better or worse. But I'm the one picking up the broken pieces. I bet you didn't even notice that I feel unwell this morning."

“I-i didn't know that you felt like that,"he sighs. “I'll make it up to you when I come home."

“Make it up to me now." I fist his shirt, tears streaming down my eyes, staining my cheeks. “Don't leave Elliot. Make time for me. For us."

Elliot rubs his temple. “You know I can't baby. I'm late for work."

Staring at him wide eyed,I detach my hands and move back. “Y-you don't care."

“Lilah,baby. It's not like that,"he comes to grab my hand but I hiss. “Don't you dare touch me!"

“It's always about you. It's always about what you want. What about me,Elliot?  What about my happiness?"

“I always buy you the things you like-

“It's not about buying me what I like. You can't buy love and affection." I assert, feeling the need to scratch my wrist.

Something I always do in a state of anger.

Silence falls between us for a few seconds before Elliot comes to press a kiss on my forehead. “I'll see you after work."

I watch as he grabs his files and strides to the door. “If you leave this house, I'll never forgive you."

“I won't come home tonight. Don't wait up." With that being said, Elliot slams the door.

He left.

Elliot left.

In a fit of rage,I haul the cocoa cup on the wall and it breaks into pieces as I crumble down,chest heaving in loud wails. I bring my knee up to my chest and sob,my loud cries echoing through the room.

I'm so sick. I'm so tired. 

Hesitantly,my teary gaze lands on the photo frame infront of me. It's an image of Elliot and I on our wedding day. I looked so happy, so full of love and adoration,and eager to move forward into the future with the man who has his arms wrapped tight around me.

While I was smiling into the camera,he was smiling down at me with so much love. But now,he hardly ever smiles.

The wedding ring branding my finger now feels like a burden,an anchor weighing me down into a sea of melancholy.

If only there was something or someone to fix the broken pieces of my heart. I crave love and affection.

I want to be loved. I can't live like this anymore.