That Game: Diary ng Playboy

Part 1

Chapter 1

Sinara ko ang black notebook ko at ni-lock iyon gamit ang garter na nasa gilid niyon. Then I placed my ballpen in my pocket. I gaze at the dark sky filled with twinkling stars. My eyes shifted to the big bright full moon. The image of a smiling girl flashed in my mind.

"Leshe," sambit ko nang pumatak ang luha ko.

Pinahid ko ang luhang tumulo sa aking kaliwang mata. I sighed and fought my tears. Hindi dapat ako umiiyak nang dahil lang sa isang babae. Pero...Damn it! Hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luha ko. Mabuti na lang at walang tao sa parteng iyon ng plaza dahil nakakahiya. Nagmumukha akong katawa-tawa at para akong bakla.

Lintik! Hindi ko aakalaing darating ang araw na ito na ako'y magmamahal at...masasaktan nang lubos. Karma na yata 'to.

Ang sakit, eh. First time kong magmahal, pero heto ako ngayon nasasaktan. Ginawa ko naman lahat para sa kanya; para maipadama na mahal ko siya. Pero bakit ganoon? Kulang pa ba ang effort na in-exert ko?

Nagkatotoo yata ang mga sumpa ng mga ex-girlfriends ko noon-na ako naman ang iiyak at masasaktan.

Napakagago ko naman kasi! Kung hindi ko siya pinaglaruan noon, maniniwala siguro siya sa ipinagtapat ko sa kanya kanina. Oo, nagtapat ako sa kanya kanina. Nilabanan ko ang takot ko. Takot akong masaktan, eh. Pero para sa kanya, I took the risk because she's worth it. First time kong magconfess at sikretong manligaw. Hayun, BASTED! REJECTED! FRIEND-ZONED! LESHE! ANG SARAP MAGLASLAS! SHEEEET!!!

Artemis was reading a book. Nasa study lounge kaming dalawa ngayon. Busy siya sa pag-aaral dahil may quiz daw sila sa kanilang major subject mamaya. Ang mga kaibigan niya ay bumili ng snacks kaya kaming dalawa na lang ang naiwan.

Dahil wala naman akong hilig sa pag-aaral at medyo inaantok na ako, I just observed her. She had this serious expression on her face. She was exuding a don't-dare-talk-to-me aura that could really intimidate people. But not him. Her snob look was just one of the things he likes about her.

Nakapangalumbaba ako habang patuloy itong tinitingnan. While looking at her, I felt that weird feeling that only she was capable of making me feel. She fascinated him. She looked snob, mighty, and cold girl, but deep the surface was a kind and caring girl. I just love her thick reddish lips that rarely curves for a smile. I love her wavy brownish hair. I love her big round brown eyes. I love her eyebrows that are usually knotted

Artemis closed the book, sighed, and looked at me with no expression on her face. "Stop staring at me, Cy."

. I love how she keeps her cool and exude confidence at the same time. I love-

"I love you."

Tumaas ang mga kilay ni Artemis. Nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata.

"What...did you just say?"

Then I realized what I just said. Shit!

"I, uh, I..." Umayos ako ng upo at tumikhim. "I was just thinking out loud. Hehe."

She stared at me for two or three seconds with that same expression. Then her forehead knotted. After a while, she glared at me.

"That is not funny, Cyan."

Kinuha niya ang notebook niya mula sa bag niya at iyon naman ang inumpisahan niyang basahin. Ako naman ay nakatulala lang rito. I just said those three words to someone for the first time, and that's the reaction I would get? That I was just joking? Well, I couldn't blame her. I just said it out of the blue. That must have shocked her kowing that I had played her feelings before. But this time, it's different. I have to let her know that-that I mean those words I said.