Walking Through Open Doors

Chapter 11 - Tasty Treats

It's a good thing that he loves riding a motorbike, because that is what pushes him through the sinking feeling in his stomach and the spiraling thoughts in his head. Instead of relying on autopilot to navigate, he moves with each bump, turn and twist. He keeps his weight steady and delicate on the pegs with a firm grip on the handlebars. It's a blissfully silent half an hour until it all comes flooding back when they drive out of the forest and the estate comes into view.

'The road is open! They finished fixing the bridge! Wen Ke Xing isn't stuck here anymore.'

Han Ying's words swirl inside his head, one big, jumbled mess of disappointment. Somehow, he had compartmentalized himself inside this one-week cocoon of Siji Mountain. Of Zhou Zi Shu and Zhou Cheng Ling. Of cooking and laughing and belonging. And just like that the chrysalis cracks and he's thrust back into reality like a prematurely born butterfly, wings not fully formed. Yet somehow, he's expected to fly back home.

In front of him, Zhou Zi Shu slows down, drives in under the archway and heads for the far corner of the courtyard. Wen Ke Xing can see the Mercedes parked next to the Dongfeng but no sign of Han Ying or Zhou Cheng Ling.

Zhou Zi Shu stops in front of an old gate, jumps off the bike and pushes the wooden doors open. He nods towards Wen Ke Xing who drives his bike straight in to the large workshop style garage. Behind him Zhou Zi Shu rolls his bike in and parks it next to him.

He pulls his helmet off and shakes his hair out of his eyes. His heart is thumping in his chest both from the adrenaline, but also from the uncertainty. It's uncomfortable. Somehow, this feels worse than when he had arrived last Friday. He didn't know them then and it was all a distant dream, a blurry image with soft edges. Now he does, and it's different. The two of them are a family and they had made space for him inside their home.

Zhou Zi Shu takes off his helmet and drags his right hand through the unruly strands that are poking out in all directions. He looks wild, but also like he would fit right against Wen Ke Xing's chest if he pulled him close and tucked him against the curve of his neck.

There are too many words and feelings inside him and the questions tangle as they curl around each other at the pit of his stomach. His pulse is suddenly thudding in his throat and he chokes on the words. Is he even allowed to ask if he can stay until Friday?

"Thanks," is the sole word that makes it through but at least it's steady and honest, instead of shaky and vulnerable. He takes a deep breath around the brick lodged in his throat. "For taking me to the lookout," he clarifies.

Zhou Zi Shu tilts his head, a sole strand falling forward and sticking to his sweaty forehead. "It was fun," he says with a smile and continues, "You weren't kidding when you said you could drive."

"I never joke about driving," Wen Ke Xing says and Zhou Zi Shu laughs. The sound melts away most of his nerves and he continues, "Or riding."

"Yeah, I bet," Zhou Zi Shu replies as they walk out of the garage and towards the main house.

He's only taken two steps up the stairs when he feels Zhou Zi Shu's hand on his wrist. "Stay—," Zhou Zi Shu blurts out and then looks up at him with wide eyes, blinking a few times. "I want you to stay—I mean, only if you want. It's just three more days anyway. I know that A'Ling wants you to stay... He's really looking forward to cooking hotpot tomorrow."

"Stay...?" Wen Ke Xing asks. His legs move on their own, and he steps back down onto the courtyard and closer to Zhou Zi Shu, watching him carefully.

"I want you to stay..." Zhou Zi Shu repeats, his voice fading and Wen Ke Xing's heart beats longingly inside the space of the silence.