Then and now

Chapter 14: Ashers POV

I don't know what to do.

I have no idea why she is avoiding me. I've tried calling her, texting her on various apps, I even showed up at her house a couple of times but everytime no one answers the door.

I'm not one to grovel for a girl. I just miss her.

And I want to know she's safe. This has to have something to do with the text, right?

She texted me the day after I saw it and said "Don't worry about the text. Wrong number apparently." I believed her at first, but now I doubt that it's true.

It's the only explanation to why she's ghosting me. She's hiding something.

I'm worried about her. If she is unsafe, she should talk to me. I can protect her myself if I have to.

The text seemed creepy and dangerous. Calling her sexy and everything. I would be terrified if I was her.

I've thought of just going into her house and finding her, but that's borderline stalking. I don't want her thinking I'm desperate or anything, or that I'm a creep.

I'm seriously considering it now though. Something must be wrong.

Or, a possibility that I've been putting out of my mind. That she is avoiding me for the plain reason that she doesn't want to see me.

Though I would rather that to her being unsafe, I still don't want to think about it.

Eventually, I decide to stop rotting in bed thinking about her and instead just go over to her house.

3rd times the charm, right?

Once I arrive at her house in a hoodie and sweats, I knock trying to contain my nervousness.

Fucking hell that's lame. Since when do I get nervous?

I wait for a couple of minutes, and my hope fades with each passing second where the door doesn't open.

I turn to leave after knocking a second time, when I hear the door unlock and the handle turn.

Excitement rushes through my veins.

I turn around to see Amira at the door, and the assumption that she just doesn't want to see me falls out the window. She is looking as exhausted as ever. Her eye bags are the darkest I've seen them, and her eyes are bloodshot. She doesn't look sober whatsoever but also looks completely on edge.

She looks sick. She looks terrified. Like she's waiting for something bad to happen.

"Amira... can I come in?" I can immediately tell something's wrong. The way that her eyes can't seem to focus, the way that her cheekbones stick out, how she is breathing heavily and has a scared look on her face.

She lets me in without a word and leads me to her room.

I haven't been in her room since we were kids.

It almost looks the same.

Her vanity is messy with makeup and jewellery, while the rest of her room is a complete stye.

Clothes mess, not food mess though.

She flops down on her double bed and lets out a big sigh.

I try to muster up the courage of what I really want to say. The silence isn't awkward, just a lot of unanswered questions hanging in the air.

"Are you- are you okay?" She sits up on her elbows and looks up at  me, like she is relieved and also terrified at that question.

"I can't sleep."

She says that like it's the only thing affecting her. Amira sits up and brings her knees to her chest in a comforting manner.

"How come?" I lean forward on the chair I'm sitting on and my face is laced with concern.

She just shrugs and looks down, but I can tell from her face that she knows why. If only I could figure it out, maybe I could help her.

I decide not to annoy her with questions, nor make her tell me what she doesn't want to. She will once she realises I'm here for her. Here always.

"Movie?" My hope is that she falls asleep during it. Maybe I can make her feel a little bit safer, a little bit more comfortable. That's all I want.

She nods and starts going downstairs.

I pick the movie, and she still hasn't spoken much. At this point anything I can get out of her is a win. A smile, a chuckle, a nod, a yes or a no.

I put on a cute romance that I found on Netflix.

Her eyes are trained on the TV, but in a way where you can tell she isn't focusing on it. It's easy to see that her mind is elsewhere.

It takes an hour of watching this chick flick for her to start falling asleep.

I have no idea why she isn't sleeping, but it brings me peace that me being here helps her.

Her head falls on my shoulder and I bring the same blanket that I always do and lay it over us.

I keep my eyes trained on the movie but turn it down as to not wake her.

I want nothing less or more for Amira than for her to be truly happy. I want her to feel safe, loved and cared for. And if I have to do all of that myself then so be it.

All romantic feelings I might start to feel for her have to be pushed down. The only thing that matters right now is her happiness. I know that she isn't in a good headspace. She probably hasn't been for a while.

But I'm determined to break her out of this slump. Whatever it takes.