dear s,
it's been a while. i wrote these last letters when we weren't talking. now, i come back and i see how pathetic i was. i was so deluded and stupid. i want to go back in time and smack the shit out of me, then hug me tightly. you've done nothing but hurt me, yet i loved you so much.
all the love i felt is gone now. it's replaced with deep discomfort and disgust. part of me still sees the parts i loved, but i see them in a different light. i used to love your strength, now it scares me. i loved your protective nature, now it feels suffocating.
i don't regret you. i learned a lot. maybe what i've learned had caused irreversible damage to my willingness to trust, but i know for sure i won't let myself get hurt like that again.
so yeah, keep obsessing over me. i hope those tattoos you got make you hate yourself. that's so weird,by the way, those tattoos. everyone i've confided in about this stuff says they're worried i'll end up on a true crime documentary.
yeah please don't kill me? that would be really fucking weird of you, especially since all of this is your fault. yknow, the cheating and abusive behavior.
one more ex to add to my list of what makes me look like the problem.
