𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐘

SIX | THE DIFFERENCE

The news of Charles Sinclair's passing quickly spread throughout the media, so it was no responsibility of Jade's to inform anybody of the loss of her father.

Her father's death had made headlines in practically all newspapers and major tabloids—meaning that the dean of Sonder University was well aware, the students were well aware, and all of her teachers were well aware. This of course included John DuPont.

Though Jade always made it clear to everyone around that she couldn't care less what they thought of her, she couldn't help but feel anxious over everyone at school knowing her business. It made her feel insecure to know that so many of them would likely be talking about her all at once. She didn't want people to think she was fragile or about to break, otherwise they'd start treating her differently.

Some people like pity, and receiving the special treatment that comes with it.

But not Jade.

Not in the slightest.

She didn't like anything that made her feel any smaller or weak. And while she was indeed feeling cracked and on the verge of breaking, she was determined to keep her guard up. She would continue to act tough, giving off the impression that there was absolutely nothing in the world that could destroy her.

Obviously, that wasn't true, but she had to at least try and pretend that it was—that she could be that person who always held it together. It was the only way she knew how to deal with trauma.

"Just fake it till you make it," she recited to herself in her bedroom mirror. She eyed her long, dark hair that was far messier than usual and filled with tangles. She noticed the dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, and how her clothes that she was still wearing from day before were now wrinkled.

She looked like hell.

The girl hadn't slept for even one second after she returned home. She simply laid on her father's side of her parent's bed for as long as she could until the sun rose, which wasn't long after she got home. And once it did, she quickly and quietly tiptoed back to her own bedroom before anyone could catch her there.

Her mother almost never let Jade into their bedroom. Not that it mattered in that moment since her mother wasn't there, but Jade still didn't want anyone who worked at their house to spot her. She didn't want anyone to see the need she currently had to be surrounded by things that reminded her of him.

She took a deep breath before trudging into her bathroom, basically dragging her feet along with her, then turned the shower on. After stripping down to nothing, she stepped inside.

She let the warm water hit the skin on her face, and she pulled her hair back from her eyes before turning and sitting on the shower floor with her knees pulled up to her chest. Though the water continued to hit her backside, the rest of her body was freezing. She didn't move or stand up though. She just stayed put. Because she was afraid that if she stood up, she would collapse.

And she figured it was better for her to just stay on the ground where she couldn't fall down again.

Perhaps that was why she had always found so much solace in sadness. Because if she always let herself remain at rock bottom, nothing could make her sink any deeper.

▣ ▣ ▣

"Jade, I think this will be a beautiful ceremony. You've planned a wonderful tribute to your father," Amelia smiled beside her employers' daughter, though she had practically begun to view Jade as a child of her own. She gently placed a hand over Jade's, then gave it a tiny squeeze.

"It's not like anyone else in the family was here to do it," Jade mumbled.

Amelia's smile faded, "I know. Your mother let you down. I'm so sorry that she wasn't here for this. She should've been."