Broken and Faded (SERIE FEROCI 15)

Chapter Twelve

I couldn't push him away... My knees quivered as his lips started moving against mine.

I panicked a little. I have never been kissed this way before. I don't know how I'm going to kiss him back... in what way I'm going to move my lips...

His lips were soft. His lips were gentle, as if he was scared to hurt me in any way possible.

I gripped his muscular arm. I was trying my best to keep my sanity in check... I was trying my best, even though it was hard... I was trying to push him, but I just couldn't... I can't win against him. I'm the most foolish one when it comes to him. I always hated that part of me. I always hated how I am too dependent on him that even my heart was his... that even my heart was dependent on him.

I moaned against his lips when he gently bit my lower lip. His gentle kisses became needy... I gripped his arm harder. My body was not listening to me at all.

He pulled me closer to him and deepened the kiss. I whimpered when his tongue started invading my mouth. My heart was beating so hard, it almost escaped out of my ribcage. My hands were shaking... I was nervous. I was excited. I was... confused. The emotions were too overwhelming.

My hands went to his shoulders. Napasinghap ako nang humawak siya sa braso ko at pinahiga ako sa couch. He was on top of me as he kissed me... It was new to me. I don't know what to do. I still don't know how to respond to his kiss... but I'll be lying if I say I don't like it. I was just... trying to deny it in my mind. I don't want to admit it even to myself... but there's no point in lying anyway. This moment was my dream. But I know... this shouldn't feel right... because he doesn't love me.

He sucked my lower lip, as if he was hungry for it. I gulped and tried to breathe through my nose. I gripped his shoulder hard as I really couldn't breathe properly.

He stopped kissing me when he noticed that. He looked at me. I gulped, then my mouth agape, as I was trying to catch my breath. He stared at my lips... He gulped hard and looked at my eyes. That was when I saw his expression change.

Agad siyang umalis sa ibabaw ko. He gripped his hair and licked his lower lip. Tila ba natauhan siya sa nagawa at nangyari.

"Fuck... What did I just do?" he muttered.

Napalunok ako saka bumangon. Inayos ko ang laylayan ng damit ko gamit ang nanginginig na kamay. Napatingin ako sa kaniya... tila binuhusan siya ng malamig na tubig... tila ba hindi siya makapaniwala sa ginawa niya.

"I-I'm sorry, Cherry. I was... I don't know why I did that," he muttered and bit his lower lip.

I touched my arm and gulped. I don't know what to say. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung bakit niya ginawa iyon.

"I think... I really have to leave... I mean... move out of your unit," he muttered.

I looked at him. "W-what?"

He looked at me and sighed. "I'm sorry, Cherry... I don't know... I shouldn't have done that. You're my friend. It felt like... I took advantage of you."

I could feel the guilt in his voice... as if he really felt sorry for that kiss... as if he was telling me that he didn't mean that... that he was just carried away.

Hindi na kami nag-usap pa pagkatapos no'n. Natulog ako na magulo ang isip... na maraming tanong na hindi masagot... at alam kong ganoon din si Remor.

WALA NA SI Remor sa unit ko nang magising ako. Sinilip ko pa ang silid niya... at wala na rin ang mga gamit niya roon.

Napabuntonghininga ako at nagtungo sa kusina. Napansin kong may pagkain na nakahanda roon... at sticky note na siguradong galing din kay Remor.

I'm sorry about last night, Cherry.