Tom Kaulitz Imagines | by billysbluecar

Jealous (Tom)

She twirled her chocolate brown curls with her finger and gave him a sugary sweet smile every few seconds, so sweet it almost made me puke.

Bill poked me in the side with his arm. "Ouch, what do you want?" I shouted in a whisper.

"Why are you trying to kill this poor girl with your looks?" He asked me, at a normal volume. The music was so loud that Tom and the brunette probably didn't notice anyway.

"Huh? I don't know what you're talking about." I shook my head briefly and continued to watch Tom and the girl.  I heard him chuckle. "Uh-huh sure."

That made me look at him with a scowl. My mood was bad enough as it was, I didn't need someone to pick on it.

It was supposed to be a nice evening, me and the band wanted to go to our favorite restaurant, which is actually also half a club. That's where I met the guys back then. Since they had their breakthrough with Tokio Hotel, I hardly see them anymore, which is why I try to enjoy every second I can spend with them - only the brunette Megan Fox wannabe in front of me makes it difficult.

In general, why would he rather spend time with a fan he's known for half an hour than with me?

"What do you have against her? She's quite cute." I slowly turned my gaze away from Tom and gave Bill the look that could kill him. "CUTE?!" I shouted ... a little too loudly. Tom, Gustav, Georg and the girl were now staring at me, perfect! I stared at them for a moment and then stood up to get some fresh air and to escape the awkward situation.

I leaned against the wall next to the entrance and took a cigarette out of my handbag. Oh man, how unpleasant was that? I lit it and sighed, annoyed with myself. How am I supposed to go back in there now?

I finished my cigarette and was about to take out my phone to write Bill that I had left. When the door next to me opened and a tall male figure with eyeliner stood next to me.
I exhaled and turned away ashamed. "You haven't finished your food yet." He said as he also lit a cigarette. "I've lost my appetite... I think I'd better go now." He looked at me with his big puppy dog eyes. "What? No! Come on y/n we only see each other so rarely. You can't just leave now!" He made it difficult for me to decide.

"Ugh Bill! That was totally embarrassing! I can't possibly go back in there." He gave me a little smile and took a drag from his cigarette. "Too bad...Tom asked for you, I guess I'll have to disappoint him now." My heart skipped a beat but I tried to hide my excitement. "Really? What about the girl?" As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how jealous that sounded.

I swallowed "Um so she's gone? I kinda couldn't stand her...because...I don't think she even knew your music. She just wanted attention." He chuckled and smiled cheekily at me "y/n I've known you for nine years now you don't need to lie." Fuck! I quickly thought of a more believable lie. "Okay got me... she's prettier than me I can't handle that." I said quickly, hoping he would just believe me. "No she isn't..." He stubs out his cigarette and throws it on the floor.

"It really hurts me to see you like that." How am I supposed to talk my way out of this? Bill knows me better than anyone. "Um... what exactly do you mean?" He rolled his eyes, I could clearly see that he was annoyed at my feigned stupidity. I know that  he's known it for a long time, but admitting it can ruin everything. "Listen... Talk to him. Why do you assume he'll reject you?" And again my heart stopped. A thousand questions raced through my mind. "What? Did he tell you something?"

"Who told Bill what?" The blood froze in my veins. "Nobody told me anything..." Bill said as he looked back and forth between me and Tom. "I'm going back inside then." Bill winked at me with a 'now or never' attitude. He disappeared behind the thick wooden door and I sighed. Now it was just the two of us. Me and Tom.

He looked a little nervous, I didn't often see him like that. We were never really alone either, at least Bill was always with us. "Why are you out here and not partying with us inside?" He asked cautiously. "Oh- um I was just about to leave." I didn't look at him, I was still uncomfortable with the situation from earlier. "Please don't go y/n" My head snapped in his direction as soon as the words left his mouth. He looked at me with those big brown eyes that had made me weak for nine years. That's enough. "Tom don't be mad at me but I'm not interested in watching the boy I have feelings for flirt with random girls anymore. It's okay if you don't feel the same way, but the fact that you keep doing it in front of me is just hurtful." I exhaled and immediately regretted every word. I can't even blame it on the alcohol because I left after only half the cocktail. Jealousy spoke out of me. "You-you have feelings for me?" He stuttered so quietly, almost in a whisper.
I THOUGHT HE KNEW!?
I mentally smacked myself in the face. "Um...haha wasn't that obvious?" I tried to save the situation somehow, it was hopeless, I just confessed my feelings to him. "No..." He still seemed a little speechless. Fuck! I thought Bill had told him! "Actually, I always thought the opposite was true... at least for the last two years." I thought about what might have happened two years ago. Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

Tom was having a more serious fling than usual with a fan. I wanted to confess my feelings to him because I thought he had some for me too. But when I slept over at Bill's one night, I met 'her' in the toilet. It wasn't a rare thing, Tom often spent nights with fans, which always hurt me, but I knew he never meant it. "Love for one night." He always called it. But with her it was different, firstly I had seen her around him before, secondly he NEVER took his fans home with him. That really unsettled and hurt me at the time. Logically, I didn't confess my feelings to him afterwards. I thought the smartest way to get over him was to avoid him. I've hardly spoken a word to him in the last two years. Obviously it hadn't worked.

I began to tremble. I couldn't interpret Tom's reaction. What if he wanted nothing more to do with me? Then I would probably lose contact with the whole band because they would show solidarity with Tom. I noticed that Tom was staring at me and waiting for an answer from me. It was too late now anyway, now I can tell him everything.

"I could never hate you... I've had feelings for you since the first time I saw you. I was always afraid if I told you I would destroy everything. But two years ago I thought you loved me too, I was so close to telling you. But you had started dating this girl who was also the complete opposite of me. So I thought you were just flirting with me for fun and that I was stupid to think you could ever love me... I thought the smartest thing to do was to ignore you."

I exhaled shakily and finally looked at him. He had a hurt look on his face.
"Oh y/n I've loved you since the second my eyes first met yours."