Zander sat in the school gardens.
He loved spending his time there, the gardener, Elliot, tended to the flowers and plants so carefully, organised them so well, that it gave him some peace. He sat quietly on one of the benches. Simply crocheting a new scarf, it was winter, Luke had complained he was feeling the cold, so he decided to crochet for him.
"Ohhhhh Zanderrrrr!"
Zander stopped. Why can't he be left alone for two seconds.
"Hey zanderrr! Knew I'd find you here!"
André grinned as he sat next to him, wrapping his arm around Zanders shoulder.
Zander snided, he couldn't help it, he immediately was met with perhaps the worst BO he ever smelled when André wrapped an arm around him.
"..Uh- hi-"
"Awe don't be so awkward! I've seen you with Luke, I know how you really are~!"
"Well uhm- Luke and I Are closer than we are so-"
André let out a loud laugh, Zander kind of side eyed him, wondering what on Earth was so funny.
"Oh my-! I love your humour-!"
"..eh- what."
"Haha! Stop it you're so funny!"
"...huh"
"Do you think we'd ever date again...?"
"Nope"
"..oh... well... my mum left when I was two... heh... she died... just thought I'd let you know.."
"..I met her when we were dating.. and I literally saw her in the store the other day..."
"You must be seeing ghosts..."
"...Are you trying to label me as chronically insane?"
"..who you gonna call.. ghost busters.."
"You're not funny."
"Well my mum said-"
"I thought she died"
".."
"..."
"Listen this is real awkward can I just take a selfie with you real quick..?"
".."
".."
"..I'm good... thanks-"
"... no problem..-"
The two sat in silence, pure silence. So quiet, you could hear the wind behind them.
"...so how are you doing these days Zander-?"
"..have you been attending assemblies?"
"..Well maybe things have changed since then!"
"Uh, ok, Uhm, Listen, I don't want to be rude, but I might actually pass out from poisonous gas."
"What do you me-"
"I don't know how you turned sweat into a fucking gas, but please, get off me, I was quite enjoying the smell of flowers before you arrived-"
"...What does Luke smell like-?"
"...pardon..."
"I'm just curious.."
"..why"
"Just tell me Before I go up and sniff him."
"...pardon..?"
".."
"...he smells like wood... and cologne-..hey.. can you go away...? This might actually be the most awkward conversation I have ever had the misfortune in engaging in.."
"...Do you prefer Lidl or Aldi.."
"..Lidl.."
"...I prefer Aldi.. opposites attract.. heh.."
"..I honestly don't have a clue what to say to you."
"I have a list! 'Oh André, take me back!' 'Oh André, I love you more than Luke!' 'Oh André i regret leaving you!' 'Oh André, let's run away to Georgia-!' You know..?"
"Running away to Georgia probably isn't the best 'run away' plan, it's quite literally the next state over-"
"Where do you wanna go then!"
"...anywhere with Luke? Uh, you know, my boyfriend?"
"WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT I DONT!?"
"..want a list?"
"Well, what do I have that he doesn't!"
"Asshole personality, no sense of boundaries, BO, delusional and frankly, you're both stupid, but he's stupid in a charming way, you're just stupid in a weird way."
"Ok damn could've let me down gently."
"You threw me to the floor when I broke up with you, you didn't let me down gently."
"..ZANDERRRRR! LUKE HIT ME!"
"Oh, did he hit you hard?"
"YES!"
Zander just shrugged. "Sorry, I'm off duty."
"..YOU'RE ON THE SCHOOL PREMISES! YOU'RE STILL ON DUTY!"
"I'd have to run that by my boss... which will take 18-27 business days.
"YOUR BOSS IS THE FUCKING GUIDANCE COUNCILLOR, IT TAKES 2 SECONDS TO TALK TO HER?"
"Sorry, she's busy"
"..I get it.. you just don't care about me then.. heh... it's like our relationship meant nothing..."
"It lasted 8 days, calm yourself."
"Well just know... I love you more than the sun and moon combined..."
"Uh, ok? But you told me you hate planets and stars?"
"..now seems like a good time to take my leave..."
"Please do."
"Ok... Bye... love you sweet cheeks..."
"I want to say profanities to you."
"Farewell my love... until we meet again..." and andre ran away.
Zander just rolled his eyes as he continued his crochet.
////
IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN FIR THIS CHAPTER TO BE SO UNSERIOUS
